Amos: A Testament to Human Resilience, Change and Love

intro: 0:05

Welcome to. This Is Source, the podcast that invites you to explore the depths of your being and tap into your true potential. This show is all about inspiring you to discover the power within yourself to create a life of purpose, joy and fulfillment. So sit back, relax and let's dive deep into the essence of who you are.

Agris: 0:34

Welcome, welcome, amos, so glad to have you here, and Mark spoke highly about you and I cannot wait to enjoy this conversation together. Yeah, I will let Mark introduce you or you will introduce yourself. I don't know, mark, it's up to you, you decide.

Mark: 0:53

Yeah, I mean I'll start, but he'll have to take over because there's aspects of Amos that I don't even know yet.

Mark: 1:00

But I did meet Amos recently and he's putting together this incredible program I'm going to call it program, but I know it goes by a lot of different titles right, but he has a passion project that he's been working on, and he's originally from Canada and he's living in the United States right now, the traveling gypsy that he is, and he's living life and he's loving life and he's following his arrow, which is something that I find commendable and, you know, incredibly inspiring. I don't know how much of what he has going on, like how far out in the future it's planned, or if he's literally just practicing living in the moment, but all I'll say is that it feels really good, you know, listening to him, listening to his message, listening to what he's trying to accomplish, but, like I said, there's also aspects of him I don't know. So I'm excited to welcome Amos and give you an opportunity to share with our audience who you are and what you have gone on right now.

Amos: 1:58

Mark, I'm on the road and thank you as well, agris, for having me here. I'm on the road to figure out who I am. I'm day 66 on the road. I left Vancouver, canada, to partially to grow Empower Network TV and all that entails. But I, more poignantly, left my entire life. I gave it up. I had a lot of others there, she's 22. But I gave up my entire life because I felt I was supposed to. Just like the reason why I started this network January 15th, I felt that I was supposed to.

Amos: 2:29

It's one of those things that you know, you hear people talk about. They get a calling, a vision. They can't shake it. They don't really want to do it, they kind of want to do it. It's exciting, it's also scary. I stepped into it. I gave you know July 1st. I was on the road and I didn't know it's going to end up giving up my car too, but I really liked it. So everything is new. I bought a new Jeep. I bought I have nothing from my old life really now and Canada was kind of like going across Canada for the month of July was like basic training bootcamp and then dropped into Virginia and I feel like it's my first deployment.

Amos: 3:05

It'll be leaving here for Florida in a few days. I'll be in Florida for a month, I think, and then, going across, got to hit Texas and a few other places in the Midwest before the West Coast, before going home. But the reason I jumped in this journey was I just felt like I was called to do it for my own sake too, like to find out who I am. I'm 47 now to reconnect with parts of me that I, you know not, I just knew I needed to reconnect with that, reconnect with the divine, reconnect with my dreams and some stuff. I've had to lay down parts of me I never thought I would have to lay down and taking up new parts of me that I didn't know existed or that maybe we're there all along, maybe weren't, but yeah, so it's a new me. That's why I'm on the road.

Agris: 3:55

Oh.

Amos: 3:55

I mean.

Agris: 3:56

I. I got two quotes from you gave up entire life and who I am Like. Which direction do you want to go?

Amos: 4:06

You guys, you guys steer the ship. I'm here for the fight.

Agris: 4:10

You know, like we are the somebody who who takes care of the ship, but we really love our passengers, you know, we love that that ship just enjoys the ride, you know. But I like let's, let's, I think let's jump in with this. The question who I am. You know, and I think it's very interesting that you said that I had, I had to give up my entire life probably to find out who I am for real. So that's actually what really is questioned, you know, like, do you really feel that you gave up your entire life or you just opened it up, a new aspect of yourself?

Amos: 4:54

I feel like I literally and figuratively push past the edge of my nest, my border. When I pushed past Calgary, alberta, I never. I was a bit of a mama's boy growing up. I was always an adventurer and like kind of wild and just did mount stuff. But because of the family dynamics it affected me, stuff with my father, just our dynamics it kind of, and then some other trauma stuff I went through it. It kind of dampened my spirit a bit and because I was innately born into the planet a fire starter, a catalyst, and then there's some reasons why I retracted a bit of that, those parts of me, two different things.

Amos: 5:32

So when I pushed out it was scary and for a lot of people at 47, it's like why would that be scary just to go on a road trip? For me it was a lot of emotional, psychological stuff on my journey. I just knew I had to do it. So for everyone they have their thing that's scary. For them Maybe it's starting a business, maybe it's getting married or having a child. For me it was going on a road trip by myself, like am I actually going to be okay? Because I always wanted to hang out in the nest unless I had someone with me because there was a part of me that was stunted and hadn't been given the room to really mature and grow my wings, just because of the way my life unfolded, without blame of anyone else for myself. And so now it was really important that I push out. And now that I pushed out, then I would never go back. I would never go back and I needed some help along the journey. And as I was approaching the edge of that nest for me, I was having a lot of fear. How will I stay with Calgary, alberta? And if it hadn't have come through them, I would have never.

Amos: 6:37

I grew up extremely athletics, health and nutrition, partially because my family wasn't and everything my parents stood for, because I didn't connect with them. Well, I was very angry at them for a long time and I swung the fence, the pendulum. Now I was like, okay, you guys are all unhealthy, overweight. I'm going to be extreme athletics and performance and health nutrition, not because it's my favorite thing to do, but because, screw you all, I'm going to do the opposite, because I didn't feel love. So saying that to give context, when this couple invited me to do an MDMA journey with them, I would have never said yes and if I hadn't said yes to that, that was one of the most profound days of my life.

Amos: 7:20

About three moments was that journey I did with them in Calgary, alberta, which set me up and got me into my heart so I could push past that nest which, until that time, there was great trepidation. I was not having a panic attack, but I was approaching that kind of feeling going how in the world am I going to do this? I was terrified. And it wasn't until that experience and with my upbringing and my judgments of things in life and never did drugs, I'll call nothing, I always black or white, black or white. And for me to do that and that's something again I just couldn't shake it. I knew I was supposed to do it. So that was a big reason why I was able to push, why I was emotionally able to let go of the nest, and now that I'm out on the road I feel like I've evolved a few times since in the last 76 days.

Mark: 8:10

So what was the? What's the for people that don't know what MDMA is? Can you give us like a little background on that and also maybe the takeaway from it, and you can be as specific as you want?

Amos: 8:22

It's a plant medicine, so different than Mali, the street drug, which is the knockoff with men and the benefits. It's the actual root, the whatever root, and it's a. It's a plant based medicine that helps you get into your heart. So when she came and said to me, amos, we're doing this, I was staying with him for a couple of weeks. We want to invite you to do this with us, and I trust her, I trust them. And when she said that, my initial reaction was no, I would never want to do. You know, I didn't say anything to her, but I was like I'm not doing. You know, I've just judged everything that was outside of my box. I judged it, but I it's like that knock. It's like knocking on my heart. And I felt that as soon as she said it gut was no, but I was like why do I feel like I'm supposed to explore this? And she said, amos, it saved our marriage and I knew their marriage, since I'd been there. I knew their marriage. And so over the next four days I kept just thinking about it, praying about it, checking in with God, checking in with me going. Am I actually supposed to do this Like? This is against everything that you know, I've constructed for all my life and I couldn't shake it. And so that day, on July 8th, I did it. I told them on the seventh, I'm going to do it.

Amos: 9:32

And July 8th, that was my eighth day on my trip and I, you know it was a whole ceremony thing that there was preparation and there was a tension thing. You said, and I went down and I, you know, I was going to be in my bedroom, they were doing their experience in their bedroom, but she said the doors open, come and talk at any point. The next day Because we did it around, you know, like early afternoon and it lasted like all the rest of the day, and I felt a kick in within half hour and my first, I panicked for a minute. I was like, dear God, what did I get myself into? Because this is. I was like, okay, this is an ordeal. And within a minute I was like, okay, god, I feel like I was supposed to do this.

Amos: 10:14

And after about 30 seconds, a minute of like, did I make the right choice? I just felt this absolute love and like I was surrounded and I felt God talk to me and say I'm going to show you some things now that's going to help you understand and one by one, brought three specific people and others to me, one by one, presented them to me and then a phrase right above them and I saw what they were in my life, where there'd been obscurity, obscurity, confusion, and it was like I saw the role they're supposed to play. I saw the role they're supposed to play and it was three key relationships and I was like, oh, there's like the light bulb went on and then other stuff happened and then in that state, probably a half hour after that, I felt suddenly inspired. I need to have these very honest conversations with people, because what it did is it brought all awareness from my, not just my physical body, but everything came here and cuts off the fear, a thing going on here. So exactly what's here?

Amos: 11:23

In my experience, I was so aware exactly what I think and feel and where I am, without any judgment, and so I, right away, going on, my cell picked up, my cell started messaging people and having the most honest conversations. I knew I was supposed to do it in that state because I knew it was coming at me was just, it was pure me, without right, wrong. It was just pure me, and so I wanted to show people what that was and to be that level of honest with people for the first time and I'm someone that tries to be very honest and authentic, but there's still these guarded layers and shields and armor and so I had 12 transformative conversations over the next few hours that just changed the whole trajectory in my life.

Agris: 12:09

I mean, it sounds like you found who you are.

Amos: 12:14

I feel like I dropped into my heart Maybe dropped in is the wrong verb, but I and it's not like it's been permanently, but it gave me a new level of awareness bandwidth, of the bandwidth that's available. And so I found since that time, if that was, this is, you know, zero. This is the furthest I was in my heart. I suddenly became aware of what the potentiality is. And so on, the last two months, over two months, you know I was maxed there. I've come back and there's been moments. My new normal is definitely more in my heart.

Agris: 12:50

Yeah, and others, right away, they could just, they could just pick it up, yeah, I mean, I think like, if we compare those, those things you know, and I think the society really we've been growing up on that aspect of that, intellect is the main thing for humanity. You know that we have to work on, or intellect to study things, to learn whatever you know, to be more successful person. And interesting what you just said you know because literally when you go into your heart, to center of your being, you understand that you actually connect with everything and that your intellect actually is just like an additional source, but the main thing is your intelligence, that intelligence which is connected with all your senses, all your source. You can call it God or love, you know it. Just this is what I heard from the story you just explain. You know it's so beautiful Because from from the heart, everything is so much more beautiful than just okay this works like this, this, that, that, this.

Agris: 14:06

you know, if I eat healthy and work out, I become strong. If I not eat, you know like, or brain is just doing logical things. But once you dive deep into your hearts, everything becomes beautiful, because everything starts to make sense. Everything becomes like wow, and this is actually what I really want to spread. That's something from the center of myself, and I think that's the beautiful message for everyone.

Amos: 14:38

It's something that shocked me because I had more moments that day and one of those moments was I was in the kitchen and looking out the back you know, they have a large acreage property just looking out and just staring out the window at horses and different things, just taking it all in, and I felt this female presence come up behind me. I knew there was a woman behind me and she came up behind me and wrapped her arms around me like like this, over this shoulder, and not a physical being, an energy, and I was like, hey, that's amazing, and I felt embraced. And then, a little bit later, I was kind of in my heart, talking to God, going like I don't understand this God. I thought I was taught to believe my heart is wicked, my heart can't be trusted, my heart and what. So I ended up having this conversation with God, where I believe I'm conversing with God, and God shows me that there's two parts of who I am, and the one part is the part that was trained.

Amos: 15:46

You know the logic, the reason, all these things that you're just talking about, and when referencing that part, it's like that part, god show me that part isn't the part that's connected to God, but this is a part that's exalted in society and life. This is the part that we're tricked into thinking keeps us safe. So it's elevated. But the part of me that is connected to God, the way I received it, is like it's like a compass that will always bring us back to the divine. But it's the scariest thing for the system. It's the scariest thing for the reason and the logic, because it's abandoning all perceptions of safety to fall into the lap of love. And it's this thing in my conversation with God. This is what I experienced that day and also what I believe. I was told. It's like this thing always leads their actual heart, always leads a person back to God, always leads a person back to love. But society, religion, has tried to create constructs around it, maybe out of safety, maybe out of fear, maybe for their own end. But that became very apparent in that in that moment.

Amos: 16:59

To me now, it's the more I go into my heart. It's not about right, wrong, it's about connection. And the more I stay in my heart, the more I find God there. It's like it's a built in GPS that was given to me to connect with the divine and to express myself as one with the divine. As that conduit the divine flows through and the more I stay out of my logic and reason, those are more tools in a tool belt to be pulled out. At times they're not the carpenter. The carpenter is the heart. The carpenter wears a tool belt and reason and logic can be pulled out for the right application. But when I've made reason and logic the carpenter, it can't build anything. The structures that reason and logic build are fucking empty. There's nothing in them. There's no life. Only the heart can build. My heart can build the structures properly and then pull out the tools of reason and logic for little applications. That's what was shown to me.

Agris: 18:05

That's the future, that's already present, but that's also the future, the future of human lives living from the heart, and I think it's like we've been fighting. For more than 2000 years humanity been fighting how to create everyone else around you so I can feel comfortable with whatever is out there. It's been just looking in wrong direction. I don't say it's wrong we can use this word wrong but even today for me it came, and it was interesting that we are speaking about this right now, because this morning I was like okay, what just comes, something to me, what is meaningful to think?

Agris: 18:58

And what came to me was like look, we are, humanity or society, are just trying to create those situations when nobody really disturbs you. It's ongoing fight with everyone else sort of around you just to make sure they are in line, they do what they're supposed to do, nobody has to be aligned so the person feels that in peace and in safety. But the real answer actually is that actually really go deep in your heart and make sure that you are the comfortable within and actually nothing disturbs you from outside. So it's like opposite, because it's endless fight for humanity. Just all those rules, everything, what governments, everyone, everything is created around just to make sure everyone feels as comfortable as possible. But you just what you explained, what you did, true, what you did was opposite. That you actually find it within and that's beauty, and I think this is what has to be teached to as many as possible. It's beautiful.

Amos: 20:26

The book Parallel Universes of Self also really helped me. That book has rocked my world. In the last, the audiobook Parallel Universes of Self by Fredrick E Dodson, I would put up like I was raised Christian. I don't go to church. I haven't gone to church for a long time. I still read scriptures like a scripture verse every day, most days. But the Bible really has impacted me deeply. But I would put this book like right up there with it Top three books I've ever read in my life.

Amos: 20:54

And one of the biggest principles this book teaches is how to when pain comes, and we all most of us have things that piss us off. Right, I have my list of what would piss me off, and the pure technique this book teaches is basically it's allowing me to understand, like jujitsu. So in jujitsu you know you're using your opponent's body weight, momentum often against them, right, for your advantage, and so it's in similar fashion for this. It teaches you how to use this thing that I've judged as bad. I've judged it as bad and so, because I've judged it as bad, I experienced the emotions, the physiological, chemical reaction that it's bad. My body maybe tenses up and now I want to make it go away. I want to fight it, I want to hit it, but what I'm actually doing is creating more of it, because I'm giving attention to, instead of I'm resisting it, which is why people that picket things only ensure that they stay around. That's why, if you're pro-abortion or pro-life, you should never go and picket something, because you're actually making more energy to go towards the thing you say you don't want to exist. So the wisdom is in learning never be against anything.

Amos: 22:09

I'm seeing this, it's just before what I'm for, and if something shows up, that's not what I want. It's like a TV channel. Something shows up on my monitor and it's like, oh, I don't like that TV program. It's not too resisted to change the channel, but how do you change the channel? Because if I keep watching the program I don't want to watch, I'm going to get a physiological reaction. I'm going to start getting angry, not because of the program, but because I've judged the program is wrong, and so this book has helped me a lot, too, when I encounter things that I don't like.

Amos: 22:41

So people in my network that are negative, or the gossip or whatever, instead of going trying to fight it, squish it, quell it, it's embracing it, it's going, thank you. And so, literally I say this I've been practicing it the last two months. Thank you that you're here, thank you for showing up, thank you for the gossip, thank you for the problems you're creating because, number one, you're showing me more of what I don't want, which allows me to hone in more on what I do want. And or, if you're showing up as a problem in my life, you're showing up because I have some reference for it too, and you're showing up to remind me of something I've not resolved in myself yet. So that book.

Amos: 23:20

I want to give props to the creator of that book. I literally practice that and listen to that book every day because, especially the last week, I've noticed I am having more and more and I got all sorts of things that I can get worked up about about living on the road no, no. Home, growing a network, starting a business, my daughter's back home, I've not seen any of my like. There's lots of potential stuff and it's like I'm experiencing the level of peace I'm experiencing. It's not for absence of bullets flying, it's because this book is teaching me how to reference things I've judged as bad or negative in a very different light. That allows me, like in Jiu Jitsu, to use my opponent's momentum against them and get them on the ground real quick.

Mark: 24:11

Wow, definitely going to be checking out that book Parallel Universes of Self.

Amos: 24:17

Yeah, it's a game changer. I listen to it on audio. I have it on my phone. I listen to it, I would say, at least six times a week.

Mark: 24:25

Well, this is a powerful conversation. Sorry to cut you off.

Mark: 24:30

Yeah no, I just, you know, it's just. This is another way of saying what Agris and I have had so many conversations about this, but it's really coming through, at least to me, chris, crystal Clear, and just this whole idea of you. Know, we all reach a point in our life, you know, sometimes 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s where we're just like I don't know who the hell. I am right, that's how we started this conversation. I don't even know who I am, and sometimes people wait for a crisis to happen. You know, they wait for some type of external source to sort of destroy what they've created, even though they don't like it, and they use that as a catalyst, like build something new. And sometimes people you know go out on a limb and they say I don't know why, but I have this calling and I feel like I need to go out there and explore. I need to push past these limitations that I've created for myself and meet myself somewhere along the way. You know, and very few people, I think, could understand that, but when you come across them, you'll recognize each other right away. Right? It's like you don't even have to have an explanation. I just was talking to Agris right before we started this show and he said I'm doing this, I'm doing this, I'm doing this. And he said well, why, where are you going? I'm like, I'm not sure yet, I'm just preparing, I'm just getting ready to go. I don't know what that looks like, I just know what a calling feels like and I also know what preparation feels like, right, and that's 20 years of doing the kind of work that you're talking about and learning to just trust that insight and those messages and that conversation with God. And sometimes we don't get the whole map revealed to us. You know, we just get one little piece of the puzzle and we don't get the second piece until we put the first piece in right. That's scary as hell for people that haven't done it before.

Mark: 26:18

I had a little bit of an advantage because I lived through a tragedy and that was my catalyst. Right, my whole world as I knew it, my model of the world, was destroyed. It came down those days that the towers fell down and but I was forced to build myself up from ground zero, right Piece by piece, and try to figure out what parts of me were not even my beliefs, they were just beliefs that were. They were my beliefs, but they were. I was never conscious that I was accepting other people's beliefs you know from my parents, from religion, from society. So I had to decide piece by piece. You know what served me and what didn't serve me anymore. And it completely changed my life.

Mark: 26:57

And that's why I do the work that I do to encourage other people to go and to take those same steps. And that's why I love listening to your story. And it kind of leads me to another question, because when you made the decision that you were going to do this, that you were just going to sell everything, get rid of everything that didn't, you didn't need anymore, jump in the car and just start heading south. How much of the puzzle did you have access to? Was it literally like I'm just? I don't even know. I'm just heading south and I'll figure it out as I get there.

Amos: 27:27

Yeah, I wasn't shown or told a whole lot. I was just told to go and I didn't know how I was going to get past Calgary, alberta, on date, you know whatever. Two weeks in I didn't know that I was going to have that MDMA journey. I didn't know that four days prior, random Lady was going to come up to me on day three in Kelowna and tell me I don't know why I'm supposed to tell you this, but something's coming and I'm supposed to tell you that. I got this. And she didn't even know me. I got this picture that God's telling me to tell you that there's all these angels surrounding you with massive fucking pillows and you so protected right now. And I was like, okay, thank you, I had no reference point, I just felt good, maybe, feel good. But then that came back to me on the MDMA experience and I was like that's what? After the first minute of trepidation I was like, no wait, god told her to tell me this, so I'm okay and so, and then I relaxed in and then that experience.

Amos: 28:25

But I didn't know. I didn't know anything when I did the start of the network. I was just told to start a Facebook group. I was in a higher coach to teach me how to grow a Facebook group and I was told to start interviewing coaches. I didn't know, I didn't know how to do it. I didn't know how to do any of this stuff I've done but I feel I've been prepared.

Amos: 28:43

You know, when you look back in your life and you go wow, like this intentionality amongst the meandering I thought I judged as meandering, and then you look back and go wow, that's actually was woven. It's like when you look at the front of those things, there are those sewing things. The front is a picture, the back is all the strings and that's. You know it just looks like chaos in the back. Strings come out and you flip it over and there's actual intentional design. And so I just have learned to relax into I'm showing what's coming this week or next week and it's become a practice now.

Amos: 29:17

But in the beginning it was very hard for me because I was very much in that, still somewhat in the ego, the reasoning, and as I've learned and I'm learning to get more into my heart, you know, to stay as that child to in wonderment and discovery and and possibility and instead of referencing things that are potentially bad, as it's like to ask myself in the moment okay, but what's possible? Yes, my cat run over. Yes, the relationships. Or, yes, my dad, my mom died.

Amos: 29:47

Yes, this, but what's possible right now? Like if something magical could happen right now, what could that be? And it instantly opens me up to the realm of possibility where before I would get so locked in to you know the trauma that this, and then I would perpetuate the emotions that go with that and the cortisol releasing in the body, the posture would shrink because I'm and my immune system would go down, physiological reactions to the thought processes I'm allowing in my, in my computer, and it's like I would shut myself off from divine not that divine wanted, but I would. I would close the pipe. It's like, no God, I don't want anything good right now, I just want to sit in my shit. I just want to send my PTSD and my trauma because it's familiar to me.

Agris: 30:38

And make and make a significance out of it, right, like many people does you know and I I know I've been doing this as well in my life you know, just something happens to you and then you go around and be significant oh, this happened to me, you know like, and you feel that your trauma actually starts to lead you. But that's about trauma is just some sort of learning along the way, which has to happen, as you said. You know like, when you look back to your life, you can see how actually everything was preparing you to be who you are today. And and this is exactly, I think, what we spoke before we press the record button but I had conversation with my wife today. I said you know, just relax. We should relax and look at how many things happen and you know, in our life it's not like there is no reason. There is reason for everything that happened. But we shouldn't force outcome of whatever happened right now. We just let it come and you will see with the time how beautiful and perfect actually everything align on our path, you know. So I like that we should get that peace within and be relaxed and just wonder right and be that child, as you said that, the child who just wonders about what could happen to right now or today.

Agris: 32:19

Or let's just enjoy this life because, like, yes, vr or energy is infinite, right, but that in this material structured body, as Amos Mark Agris, it's existing once. So why would ruin our life, worrying about everything what happened in the past and projecting out of those worries the future? Instead, just let's, let's celebrate the life. Let's celebrate that we are alive, let's celebrate that we have whatever we have, even this body. You know, it's like we have so many things to celebrate and I think people don't let it happen Most of the times.

Agris: 33:08

So it's so important that we celebrate the love, the life itself, and enjoy this life. Exactly in this who we are right now from, from all the ancestors and all the beliefs and all physical abilities and all so many things comes we receive from from the past, right, as this material creatures, that as a, when you connect to your soul, your heart, you can see that how many infinite possibilities we have actually to celebrate to be. Yeah, we choose ourselves, right, we choose. Do you feel that you're, you choose yourself right now, that there is a reason why you choose yourself?

Amos: 33:57

And the reasons are stacking, but I was someone that you know. I admire your perspective, but I wasn't there for a long time and I think a lot of people they want to be there, but they don't know how to be there in that place of gratitude, because they're in, they're in lives. They're not aware that they've constructed, like I was, they're not aware that they actually constructed their life. They still, I felt for a long time I was a victim, and when you believe you're a victim, you believe you have no power. And if you believe you have no power, then you're subject to anything around you that does have power. So you're constantly in a state of I don't want to lose because I don't have much. I don't have much left. There's not much of me left, not much of my heart left. So I feel for people that are under the spell, like I was, that they're victims and not aware that, like I was, that the reality they're experiencing is merely a projection of their perception of what's happening and what's happened to them, and not aware of the cycles that actually perpetuate the very thing they would curse that they're actually perpetuating it, like I was. So I totally agree with you, but it's taken me a long time to get here. I struggle with depression in my 20s. My teens it was just, it was really, really rough. My 30s were, no, not fun either. And there's a lot of people that I feel that they would say they don't have a lot of hope, they're not having pulling them forward and they're waiting for the external to save them perceptually from what's going on internally in them and they don't. They're not aware they hold the keys. It's one thing for me to come and tell you aggras, mark, you guys hold the keys, it's like sure. But I know for me people told me that, but I, to the degree that I had been used that proverbial term, woke it up to, not to one thing, but too many things that you know.

Amos: 35:50

The foundation all of this is built on, I believe, is like number one. You know, words have power, which is why I watch what I say about myself, which is why I don't ever buy a diagnosis, because words have the power to curse or to heal, and I won't speak of myself in certain ways ever, regardless of what someone else says, because I want to create that. Another is that like thoughts become things. Another is that my feeling, my state produces my reality. So parallel universe itself teaches to remember the future you want to experience in the past. So for me it's about going. What do I want? This is what I want, and it's not about, you know, special verbiage and trying to convince myself with words, but it's remembering as if it's today or already and experiencing at the feelings, because the feelings create the chemical state in my body. I know this because I can know.

Amos: 36:45

When I get into stressful situations, situations I perceive and have told myself a tape about that are stressful, I experience a correlating physiological reaction in my body which produces more of those stress chemicals, which produces then, maybe, frustration and secondary ones which cause more of it, and the whole time. If I'm in that, not in my heart, but in that, this side, I'm judging, I'm on the defense, I'm attacking because I believe the threats external, but the threat only got access to is I let enemies in the gates and if I'm not aware that I'm the only one that holds the castle keys, which I wasn't for years I thought my dad did this to me, my so, and so did this to me my ex girl. For all this stuff, I thought they got in my castle because because they climbed the walls, didn't climb a fucking wall. I didn't realize I had the keys to the castle the whole time. I didn't know I was getting down the drawbridge. I'm just waking up to these things for me.

Amos: 37:45

When you say that, agress, I go damn. I want people to know that. But I know for myself. I'm only experiencing that not as head knowledge, but as experiential knowledge now, because a number of these, these things have slid into place. It took more than one of them. It's like the, the aggregation of a bunch of things, a building blocks for for me then to stand on that and experience the reality you just stated. I had to get all these things into place and I've not arrived, but there's enough significant blocks in place that now I go wow, on this precipice I'm not going to go around and go. I agree with you, agress, but before those things were in place, it would have been like, wow, I'd love to be. You have no idea how you're there. I don't feel like that and I feel like I'm a victim.

Mark: 38:30

So Damn, that was incredible. You've clearly thought a lot about that because you articulated it very well and it just it makes so much sense to me and I feel like that's really the $64 million question of how do I get, how do I get to that point? You know this stage in my life where I know it's not working, I know my relationship sucks, I know I don't feel authentic, I want to know who I am and I don't even know how to know who I am right, like. These are the questions that I feel like so many of us are plagued with, and I think a lot of it ties down to so many parts that you mentioned in this conversation, which I feel like I'm going to have to play back and then break down into lots of different sections, because you could probably talk even more on each part. But this whole idea of we're trying to keep ourselves safe and comfortable, right and so and I love that whole idea of what happens when you fall into the victim role and you feel like you don't have enough, so it's like I'm going to hold on to whatever's left, god damn it, you know, and I'm going to keep people like you as far away from me as possible, because I don't have time for your shit and I have nothing to give you to get the hell out of it. You know what I mean, but that comes from a place of like you articulated it perfectly. It's like if we could break things down so simply.

Mark: 39:51

It's the victim mode, you know, which is connected to allowing the things that happen to us determine our model of the world and, like you said, giving the keys of the castle to somebody else. That's what we do all the time. We know what we need, we know what our needs are and then we decide the people around us I'm going to give you, I'm going to pass this need to you and I'm going to hope for the best, but I'm going to sit here and wait for you not to give me what I need and then I'm going to get rid of you and I'm going to find somebody else that will do a better job of that. And I feel like it. In my personal life, after you know, a whole lifetime has been my journey, but maybe even more lifetimes, right, but in the past, I don't know what are we 22 years? It's been about me trying to understand that, trying to understand all of what we're talking about here.

Mark: 40:37

How do I get from victim mode to to the most powerful version of myself but not even in the powerful sense that people think, because it's not really about power, it's about love. How do I get to that place where I'm operating out of love? And what does that look like? I mean, people ask me that question all the time, like what operate from the heart? Like what would love say, what would love do?

Mark: 40:59

What the hell does that even mean?

Mark: 41:00

What does that mean to somebody who's been, who, like when they were a kid, they were crushed right by somebody, by, you know, a relationship or a parent or something like that? That's, that's when we hear the word love, that's what we think of immediately. And now you want me to live there. You want me to live in that crappy place where I've been hurt by people who were supposed to give me love.

Mark: 41:22

And I love this whole, this whole idea of like being willing to sit there and work with those parts of you and sit there long enough to feel those emotions that you haven't allowed yourself to feel for so long, for enough for them to move through you, so that you could be in an open vessel for love to flow through you and you could reach other people. But I think it's confusing to a lot of people and that's why we started this podcast. That's why we want to have these conversations, that's why we brought you on here, because I think this is what everybody's trying to figure out, and I love your stories specifically because I think it's personal to you, but I think it's universal and I think Agress is right. I think that that's where we are right now as a society and, evolutionarily speaking, that's exactly where we are, that people want to move into that space and they just have no idea how.

Amos: 42:12

I would suggest that something that really has helped me, mark and Agress in is letting go of the framework by which I believe learning occurs. If my leg was broken and I only have ever had a broken leg that I can remember how would you guys begin to describe to me a life without a broken leg? How could you describe that? Or if I've never ridden a bike before and you tried to describe to me the freedom of riding a bike, how would you do that in words, right? So what I found for me is like most people 90% or more more who didn't learn it as we, let's say, could have or should have, that are perhaps, as a family, most of us came from upbringings that where we didn't learn any of this stuff. Therefore, we're learning it after the fact, but by how? What is the quickest way to learn it after the fact?

Amos: 43:04

Our school system taught to rely on that side of the logic, right? That's what it elevates the school, which is why it's broken. It doesn't work because they exemplify they, they hold up reason, logic and all this, and they don't at all teach us how to be in our heart. Why are kids so fast to learn? It's because they're in this play mode, and so if people will give up this way of learning, mark, tell me how to live in my heart, just tell me the details. It's like no, no, no. How do we learn best? We actually go and discuss, we get in the sandbox of life and then we go and we play, so by being becoming a child again. That's the quickest way. That's why one of the reasons why I took off and why I've done everything I've done this year is because I recognize that I can't read a book about this. I can't postulate, I can't do those things and successfully have it in me. I have to actually consume the lesson. You know, my dad wanted to teach me mechanics and I was a kid. We didn't grow up, so I never learned how to change an oil from my father. I could go and read a book, but if, as a kid, I would have gotten my hands in there with him, I would have learned it like that. And it's the same thing with this stuff.

Amos: 44:13

If people are struggling, my recommendation is not to ask for how to. It's to get in the fucking sandbox and give yourself permission which is what I'm doing to get curious and make mistakes, to ask questions, like all the things we did at three and four and five or six or seven, all of that stuff playing games, playing guns, whatever you're doing as a kid it's like that is the only place I feel inspired in spirit. Feel in spirit in logic and reason. Those are not the carpenter. I don't believe that's meant to build the house. Those are tools that's meant to assist the carpenter.

Amos: 44:53

The carpenter who's going to build your house, whether it's your life, your relationship, your marriage, or build into you and help you experience a lesson that you weren't taught at three and four and five or 10, like I was, like most of us, that carpenter requires curiosity, requires letting go of the perception of perfection. This is what I found is assisted me. So if people are struggling with that, I would say the only thing they have to decide is are they willing to let themselves be a child again?

Mark: 45:22

Right.

Agris: 45:23

Sorry.

Mark: 45:23

No, I mean, I was just thinking about how a lot of this has to do with that childhood stuff and also being willing to do things that are uncomfortable, and our willingness to do things that are uncomfortable are tied to our safety. Right, and the metaphor which wasn't a metaphor, but it is of the story that you told us before about I just want to let you know God's telling me, to tell you that you're surrounded by angels and there's pillows everywhere, right, and so there was a belief already inside of you that God does exist, that he does have angels that work for him and that they are there to protect you, and so that gave you the feeling of, okay, I'm safe enough to go out on a limb and follow my heart and do whatever it takes. But if you grew up and you didn't have a certain type of support system, if you didn't feel safe in your environment, you're probably more in your head than you are willing to play in the sandbox. If you were the kid in the sandbox that didn't know if one of your parents was going to kick your ass, if you did or said the wrong thing, you probably weren't really playing in the sandbox. You probably were just paying attention to everything around you, making sure that you were safe.

Mark: 46:35

And so how does somebody, when they hit their 30s, 40s, 50s and 60s and they say, I don't know who I am, I have no idea what that even looks like, people tell me to be authentic? I have no idea what authentic even means, I have no clue who I am. And then they hear a story like yours and they're like fuck. I want to do that. I want to sell my house and move into an RV with my kids and my dog. I want to leave my home country and move to another country with my wife and my two kids. I want to get in my car and travel to another country and just live day by day, moment by moment, meeting new aspects of myself. I think a lot of people want to do that, but there has to be some level of feeling safe.

Mark: 47:16

And when I decided to take my journey, which was when we sold the house and took off in the RV, a lot of people said to me first of all, are you crazy? And second of all, what gives you enough of a feeling to think that you can pull this off? Or everybody has this idea. Everybody dreams of this behind their keyboard? Why are you doing it? How are you doing it? And my answer was simple Well, I've been through some shit in my life and I've screwed a lot of stuff up and I'm used to that. I'm comfortable being uncomfortable. We're probably going to suck at this. It's probably going to be terrible, lots of things could go wrong, but we're still going to do it anyway.

Mark: 47:56

And we literally got in the RV and started driving south and we lied to most people because I just didn't want to hear it, because people wanted to know what our agenda was, where we were going to be like, what were the safety precautions? None of that existed. We were just driving, we were just literally state by state. Sometimes we were sleeping in Walmart parking lots, sometimes we were just, you know, we were winging it.

Mark: 48:20

But it was because I had developed my spirituality, I had developed a relationship with God, I had developed a relationship with an understanding, I would say, of consciousness, of this idea that everything is going to work out, that I was going to be okay, because and we could go into that right on a much deeper level but just to keep it on the surface, that was enough for me and it sounds like everybody wants to experience what we're talking about here.

Mark: 48:47

Right, everybody does, and so, to tie back to what I was saying earlier, is like if you didn't have that support system when you were a kid that gave you the opportunity to play safely right, like I'm safe enough to just play in the sandbox. It's hard as an adult, but I love this story, and I love Agris's story and my story because it's proof to people that you can wake up at any day. No matter what happened to you, no matter what trauma or tragedies you live through, no matter what you know your parents put you through or your caretakers put you through. There is a way to find those parts of you that are not okay, to heal them, to love them and to develop that relationship with God, to develop that relationship with spirituality enough where you feel safe and that you're willing to venture into the uncomfortable so that you can meet these parts of yourself.

Amos: 49:37

I have a story for you. When I was 28, I died my daughter. She was a few years old. I had a buddy have a buddy named Heath. Heath grew up in Zimbabwe. His parents were missionaries and he was. He was the wild test like out there. He was everything hunting, fishing, physicality, outdoors.

Amos: 49:57

Well, heath, we went to the wave pool and Heath was amazing at diving off the high dive like flips, all sorts of stuff, self-talk. I would watch him, yeah. But I was like, well, I was asked, let it. But I was like I have no idea how he does that. I wasn't. I never liked the water. I almost drowned once.

Amos: 50:18

As a kid I never floated well, couldn't float on my back. I would sit there and watch Heath Jackson. I'd be like, holy shit, how do you do that? I'd watch everyone else watching him going. I want to be on the high dive with Heath. And so one day I was like can you teach me how to do what you do? And so he took me to the low dive and did some stuff off the low dive and it was a little scary. But and then I was like you know what? I'm ready for the high dive.

Amos: 50:46

It's so long story short. We go off the high dive and I watch him a few times more and then I make my way up there and there's no tandem jumping. I'm on, you're on your own, so I go up and I go to do a gainer off the high dive. So a gainer is you're running, jumping and then you're back flipping Right. So it's it's. And with the gainer. If you are unsuccessful with the gainers because you tense up, you actually have to physiologically let go of your back. If you tighten your back muscles, you will not rotate and you will back flop. And that's exactly what I did. I hit and I back flopped on the water, which is far more painful than belly flopping. And this amount of sting that went through my body, I couldn't even scream. As they came up, he saw it and he was ready to jump in because he didn't know if I was coming up. And I was like, I don't remember that much pain in my life to that point in my life. But I was like, well, I now know how to not do it. So I, I got out of the pool, went up and then I did it. But the first time I fell and it was, it was brutal, but it's like I'm either going to watch Heath Jackson, who got trained by his dad and he was raising an upbringing that did that I was going to watch him the rest of my life and Marvel, or else I was going to go and do it and you know, the story is that the first I shit the bed and I let it on my back and it hurt like a son of a bitch. But my office were were stay in the kiddie pool with my daughter and maybe go off the low dive, or how bad do I want it.

Amos: 52:22

And so people that hear your guys' stories, you know we all have things we were given and if we look at our life as a continuum, there's hills, there's valleys, there's all sorts of stuff. If I compare myself to you, we're going to stack up differently, but my only competition in life, I feel, is me, because you didn't have my parents, you didn't have my upbringing. Only I got it. You guys have yours. So if I compare myself to myself and ask myself every day, what do you want to end up? If this is your last year on earth, how do you want to go down? I've been doing this the last five years, so I live every year of my life going, if this is my last bloody year on earth, what I want to accomplish by the end of the year, because I want, between the two numbers on my gravestone from this 1975 until whatever.

Amos: 53:08

It's not about that, it's about what happened here and so, if people want it, I don't believe that it's possible to thirst for something that doesn't exist. If you thirst for water or you thirst for NACL, it's because they exist on the earth. So if a person is thirsting by listening to your guys show for a life greater than what they have, it's because it exists in an alternate plane. They are able to step into that. But between where they are because I'm experiencing this now and stepping into the reality, they really crave with every fiber of their being.

Amos: 53:41

It's not a linear path and it's not by utilizing logic and reason. When you got in your RV, you opened yourself up to all sorts of potentialities that never existed in your previous existence prior, but because you said yes and you got up and you climbed up on the high dive and I'm sure you guys had some moments where it didn't go exactly right you gave yourself permission. So I understand people go through trauma. I had home trauma with my father for the entire time, so I know what that's like. But at the end of the day, who gets to decide what's written on your tombstone?

Agris: 54:26

I still those examples is incredible you guys just gave. But I still want to come back a little bit to that child, to the child where everything starts, and you've been, both of you, been doing inner child integration, or we can call it soul integration, or really you've been there, you've done that, and myself as well. And I just have a question, and I will say reasoning as well. This is more practical, actually, and it's great, probably, to give something to listeners as well, something practical Because, as you said, we can talk, oh, go to the place, do that, do this. You know you will feel better and people will like, oh, okay, you guys, I'm happy for you, but you don't understand me right. But I just wanted to come back to that child and when we do those integrations, like my question to you, both of you, because you've been doing this, that child, when you go back to that sense of the child, how do you learn as a child? What is the main, how you learn as a child?

Amos: 55:48

My Facebook is open.

Agris: 55:51

Because I think, at least for me, if I think, if I feel it is that we, as a child, we actually sense things Right. We sense it, we sense it with whole energy. We just become what we sense Correct. So I know that you mentioned that we have to get hurt in order to learn right, because I think what we are going through is really huge world of duality right now. You know, and we are doing integration right now, the more many, many people does it, integration just to change the energy of the existence of the Earth. And once we are done many, many humans doing this right now, once we are done, the next generation who will come on the planet Earth, what do you think? Are they going to sense that side of duality or the new creation? Will they need to go through the same process we did? I don't think so, because they are going to sense completely different energy, exactly.

Agris: 57:08

And I think this is what we are doing as humans right now we integrating the new way of giving and I think this is a very important time in the planet Earth history that we are doing this, because every child, everyone who is open, that energy open it is, who will come into this energy field, will sense what is the beautiful way of living this life.

Mark: 57:41

I think what you are saying. If I could just, I just have something to say, and then I want to hear your input on this as well, but I think there could be no other way. I think what you are describing is exactly why we are going through exactly what we are going through. I think what I longed for down the road is to help young parents to do this inner work, to do this healing work, to do these integrations before they start having children, before they get married or very early on. That is what I would hope for. But what about us? The damage is already done, so we need to put the mask on first. So I feel like there is enough of us around that are living our lives with these blockages inside of us, with these walls that we built up around ourselves because of what we went through, because of our parents, and they passed to us what we experienced because of what they. So it has been this evolution and I think that we are under the influence of this illusion that we are separate, but we are not actually separate. I am not separate from my dad and I am not separate from my grandfather or my great grandfather. There is the illusion of separateness. Because of that, I think what you were saying earlier, amos, this guy did this. And because he did this, this is what I experienced in life. But the truth is there was no other way.

Mark: 58:59

If we traced what our dads went through back to what their dads went through back to what that there has been this unbelievable evolutionary process of survival. The body had to survive for the soul to have the experience here. If there is no body, then the soul has nothing to attach to to have this experience. So step one is like, okay, we are going to create this place called planet earth and it is going to be this playground for what is eventually going to be humans, and we are going to attach to these avatars and we are going to have these experiences and we are going to get to experience emotions. We are going to get to see what it is like to have emotions.

Mark: 59:40

But when you think about stage one is like, okay, survival, the body needs to last long enough for this experiment to work, and so, but with that came what we were talking about before, which is that we always have to stay safe and comfortable, because the body needs to survive long enough for this experiment to work. But I think where we are now is that we don't have a lot of those same dangers and pitfalls that we had at the beginning of creation. And so now we are at a point where we can, we can do soul integration like we can do these integrations, we can do these healings. We can, we can live in the heart.

Mark: 1:00:22

You know, like I don't even think it was possible for our grandfathers and our great grandfathers, it just wasn't. And so this ties into sort of what you were talking about earlier, amos, about the victimhood mentality. No-transcript, we wouldn't be able to emerge out of that if we didn't even understand what that was like, and so all of it had to happen. It's all perfect, everything's happening perfectly, everything's unfolding according to plan, and so if that's not a good enough reason to muster up enough courage to get on the high diving board, I don't know what is, and so I want to give you a chance to respond to that.

Amos: 1:01:01

Somehow, and explicably almost, it's the wounds we receive end up becoming part of our anointing or calling. But we get. We still have to choose to step into it. I know that's true for me. The things that I went through, that were the deepest wounds. The wounds there, they're intentionally given and they're too precise. To be not intentional is my opinion and I find that you know, some kid comes to the planet carrying his or her gifts and then there's two ways of looking at it. One is that the wounds are given by the dark side and I don't know, maybe it's a bit of both, I don't know but to squish the child so the child never rises up. The other way is the wounds are intentionally given by the light side to shape and hone the child, and maybe it's a bit of both and there's interplay on there. But it's like what will I allow the wounds that were given to me? Are they going to allow them to dull the, the treasures that are in my cup, or will I allow them to forge me? And there's a lot of people that they don't want to be.

Amos: 1:02:05

The work is not easy. It's not easy because I believe, of this side of the, the analytical, the logic, the reasons, the blaming. Once this starts to dissipate and die, the work actually is actually quite easy, because it's playing, it's integrative, it's like being a child again. You're reintroducing yourself to parts of yourself that were lost at two and three and four and five and six, and so I really believe that the wounds are somehow intentionally given, whether by one or both they're given, and the work is then to like recognize that, well, there really is value despite what's happened. It might be beneath and maybe there's not over top of it, but am I going to go and pay the price? And the price is only a price perceptually, when I'm viewing it from this side. If I'm from the child side, it's the fucking greatest adventure of my life. And so, number one, if I'm viewing it as oh, this is so fucking hard, it's, there's no shame in that. But just be aware you're not operating from your inner child, which is explorative, creative.

Amos: 1:03:10

You know Christ said unless you want to, unless you'll become like a little child, you'll never taste and experience the kingdom of God. To me that means the kingdom of God is God's kingdom, coming in and through me on the earth, so that I am the light of the world, so that I am the salt of the earth, so that I dispense the goodness that I believe God loaded me up before creation with to carry me. And I have to believe that the earth to carry my own unique brilliance and gifts that God wants to get through me to the creation to liberate and empower and inspire the creation. I have to believe number one, that there's goodness in here and I have to believe that, that the perceived dragons are worth slaying, because dragons only ever sit on treasure and my life is because he's fucking on my treasure and so I'm going to go after that dragon.

Amos: 1:03:56

What feels scary? Not because it is scary, because if I think it's scary, I've learned that I'm operating in reason, logic, blame, victimhood. It's fucking adventurous and that's the part I'm becoming aware of. It's like fighting dragons is the best thing on earth, man, because they're sitting on my gold. I want my fucking gold, god wants me to have my gold and he wants me to get it on the planet, said others also go. You know what? Fuck, yeah, I got gold to. God gave it to me and I'm supposed to share my and shine on the planet. So that's what I'm learning.

Agris: 1:04:29

Wow, I like I love all those three perspectives. Yeah, my point is that if we integrate, if we don't carry on all those scarcities, those wounds, those traumas, and we don't carry on anymore to next generation, they're in much better place than we were as a child, you know, and I think that's our responsibility to not carry on all this.

Amos: 1:05:04

I feel like I'm supposed to challenge that. Is it okay if I challenge that? Of course I want to challenge that. It offer this thought the further I get into this work, the more I come out of the blame victim. Woe is me. Whoa what happened. How horrible it was that my dad did that to me, how horrible it was that I again judging perception wasted my teens, 20s, 30s. The more I come to here, the whole fucking thing is perfect. The whole thing is perfect. So I would I would counter that and suggest that whatever is for people is exactly what they need because it's their training ground and so it's not.

Amos: 1:05:45

It's not about judging the bottle as bad. It's. It's about challenging. Why am I judging it is bad? So I was raped at three. So my mom was killed in front of me at seven. It's not about judging the bottle as bad. No one's having this discussion, and I think we need to have this discussion to go further down the path when more things are gathered in the moment.

Amos: 1:06:10

It's traumatic, but it's traumatic because there's all these stories. I was telling a lot and I didn't know. I was telling my stories in the moment as a kid. But as I get out of this part of me into the heart, I realized the whole thing was intentionally designed to train me, to hold me. If I will cooperate with the plan Now, mark, I'd be curious what your thoughts on there, because I I feel like somehow this whole thing was set up for us and if we align with it and when we come into this perfect synchronicity where by the time we're 3040, 5060, 70, we realize that, like against everything we're taught to believe, we end up going it was perfect, it was perfect the way it was.

Amos: 1:06:52

Look at my relationship with my father and I go Wow, I can't believe I have peace in my heart with my dad, even though, even though, even though, and for all these years that it took me to last year, the final letter I had to write to him and it's like no, there's zero, zero negative emotions, zero trauma, zero. It's like it's just free. And now that is a. It's what's? The journey of 1000 steps begins with that single. But I would counter that because I think that's the other side of that. Isn't horrible that tragedy happens? Yes, in the moment, should we make the better place, the world a better place? Yes, I would agree with you. And yet, the same time, the shit I was handed was has been my perfect training ground, and I wouldn't change any of it. So then, how does that wrestle in with that?

Mark: 1:07:41

Perfectly.

Agris: 1:07:42

I have to answer the challenge. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, because Mark is, he knows that I said exactly what you just said, 100% yeah, and the thing is that what I meant saying that is that if you are here and feeling that you are, everything was perfect for you and you don't hold anything against whatever happened, so you don't hold that pain anymore, right, because you just feel that that's amazing how everything happened, and so I'm like free, I'm free, I'm really literally free of all that pain. So my question is now you, as a must, what frequency and energy vibration is coming out of you? It's a, and what is going to be sensed by child around from you? What do they going to learn from you? Are they going to learn the same lesson you did? Are you going to carry on like how bad people are or whatever? They don't? That's the thing. That's what you actually brought then through as as you, which was perfect because you came to do this, and that's why you feel it's perfect for you, because you can exactly do whatever you did, because that was your program.

Agris: 1:09:07

That's what I meant. You know, like we'll next generation need to go through the same thing? I don't think so, and so I think they will have a different shit to work on, you know, but not the same. But we went through, so we integrated that. So they probably will think about you come, come and be connected to divine so much more earlier than we get to know it.

Agris: 1:09:34

And they actually have a duty so they actually can come and work from higher good, from higher things already to have in being, in spirit, inspired. So they actually know that they can be inspired and don't need to be safe or whatever. They can just follow their heart. You know, and I think that's what we do right now, and so it's our responsibility to show them the way how to be inspired, how to be in connected with the divine, and you are showing it. So I think you want it or not, but people getting it from you now. So that's that's what I meant and, yeah, everything was perfect. I've been going through all many things as well and was like thinking at that point, why me? You know what the?

Agris: 1:10:22

heck, you know for us to connect. So sorry, mark, I'm giving it to you, you know.

Mark: 1:10:31

No, I mean. I mean, this definitely needs to break into a part two. So we have to have a most back, because this has been probably one of the most powerful conversations we've had since we started, and I feel like there's we just scratch the surface, but I want to say that I've heard it said that, you know, in families, pain is passed down from generation to generation until somebody is willing to feel it Right. And then and that's what we're talking about here we're talking about being willing to feel it long enough for the healing to take place. Right, and to integrate it into our lives in a way where it doesn't control every aspect of who we are anymore. And then we show up differently in the world, right, and our children learn from us right, not necessarily from our words, but they pay attention to our behavior, right, and so, yeah, they won't have to go through the same things that we went through, because they're going to learn a different way. Right, and you're right, that's what makes this whole entire thing perfect, and that's that that should be so enlightening and so inspiring and should give people so much hope.

Mark: 1:11:34

Because if you're fucking fed up with your life at 40 something years old and I'm just arbitrarily throwing that number out there. Then you should, you should feel that way and you should follow that, you should explore that, you should feel that, and for each person it's going to look different. Not everybody should like abandon everything and get in their car and just drive until they figure it out. That's not every single person's path. That was your path, right, and that might be a lot of other people's path, but not everybody. It's just it's willing to listen to that voice, it's willing to feel things that they've been running from for their entire life. Yeah, and then understanding that there's a word at the end of that.

Amos: 1:12:10

There's high dives that have your name on them, and the high dives that have your name on them. You need to climb those ladders. They're different than other peoples, but it's very, it's very, very specific in life and tailored. So let's do a part two.

Mark: 1:12:22

Yeah, let's do that All right. Thank you, amo, so much for for joining us on this conversation. It's been absolutely incredible. I knew it was going to be good, but it was amazing and I'm inspired and really appreciative. So thank you.

Amos: 1:12:37

Thank you for having me.

intro: 1:12:41

Thank you for tuning into. This Is Source. We hope that this conversation has sparked something within you and that you feel inspired to continue exploring your own journey of self-discovery. Remember, you are the source of your own transformation and the possibilities for growth and expansion are infinite. If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with your friends and family, and don't forget to subscribe so you never miss an episode. Until next time, keep shining your light and living your truth.