Patti Hunt, A Journey of Self-Discovery in RV Living

intro: 0:05

Welcome to. This Is Source, the podcast that invites you to explore the depths of your being and tap into your true potential. This show is all about inspiring you to discover the power within yourself to create a life of purpose, joy and fulfillment. So sit back, relax and let's dive deep into the essence of who you are.

Agris: 0:35

Welcome. Welcome, patty. How are you?

Patti: 0:38

I am great. How are you?

Agris: 0:41

Amazing Mark, what about?

Mark: 0:43

you Good, I'm really good. I'm excited for this conversation. It's something about connecting with you, patty, and the whole RV life and I don't know. This is like a merge of all the things that are important and exciting to me, so I'm for this conversation.

Patti: 0:58

I'm excited as well. It was a great conversation we had.

Mark: 1:03

Yeah, definitely. So bring us up to speed, tell us what's going on lately and all the things that you are, on the like, creating on the horizon.

Patti: 1:13

Okay. So there's a lot, but I will sum it up. We have been living full-time in an RV for over two and a half years, my husband and I. We have a great big 40-foot RV for all of our equipment and we just decided during COVID let's pick up, buy an RV, sell everything. So we sold everything. All of the kids are out of the house, so that wasn't an issue. And we decided to hit the road and that would have been a really scary thing for me. But I said what the heck, let's go for it. And here we are, little over two and a half years on the road back and forth across the country three times and it's just been amazing for the most part.

Agris: 2:03

Wow, just three times.

Patti: 2:08

Right, just three times. It's amazing.

Agris: 2:14

Listen, you have to have your favorite place, where you love to stop a little bit longer than usual, is it?

Patti: 2:23

That is funny. Everybody asks that, and what I've come to realize in all the travel that we've done is it just depends on the time and where we are. We spend time in Las Vegas and Nevada and been in the desert, and then there's times I want to be right now we're on the east coast of Pennsylvania and I want water around. So it really just depends. It's more about the experiences that really touched us that make the difference in what we like and what we want to do, and so our favorite places are just just depends, which is very so much.

Mark: 3:08

So when you go from one spot to another so you've traversed back and forth across the United States and you'll have a memory let's say you started on the east coast and then you're on the west coast and you have a memory of a really good time that you had on the east coast Do you try to go back to that place and sort of relive it and see if it gives you those same emotions, or do you just kind of let it be what it was and try to explore new places?

Patti: 3:33

There are certain places. So, for instance, we're going back to Florida. We spent this well, spent most of the winter in Florida and we were at a place called Crystal River just a magical type place. So while we go back to Florida for this winter, I want to go back to the area and see and explore new things, different things, but usually I want to go somewhere else. I want another experience. I found that when we started out and we were in an area, we tried to do everything in that area. It was go, go, go, go go, and we realized that we had to stop and enjoy the journey, take a little more time. So when I go back to those areas, there are other things on the bucket list to look at or check out.

Agris: 4:24

I mean, it's so beautiful. It's a beautiful way of showing to the world that there is not necessary to be in one place, to take one certain job, to go to office every day. Right, and COVID showed us that it's possible to be from home. We call it, and home can be anywhere right now. For you, that's amazing. Do you still do something for, I would say, driving, not living for driving, driving around? Do you still do something from your home Like work?

Patti: 5:02

Yes, yes. So when we started out, I was trying to figure out what are we going to do? Because you could live on the road, but you still have to make a living. We had to make money For me. I had been a teacher for 20 years, I was at the top of my pay scale, I was almost at a doctorate degree and many years before COVID I quit for that very reason. I didn't feel like I was living life fully. And so when Dan actually came to me and said this was in the middle of COVID, he said, hey, let's sell everything and buy a RV. And literally I sat there and laughed and then I realized this man is serious and I said, okay, what are we going to do? Because our goal, our mission, I think for me, my purpose in life is to inspire others like live life fully.

Patti: 5:54

And so Dan has been in the entertainment industry literally his entire life like actor, producer, director, worked on major movies. And so he said, well, we'll create YouTube videos. And so that was a very natural progression for us and we started going out and just enjoying life and showing it to people. And back in December we were offered a podcast. So we too have a podcast and, as you guys know, you find ways to monetize what you do, what you love and what you know, and so, yep, we definitely work on the road, and I think sometimes we work more and harder than we ever did before. The difference is we truly love what we're doing and that's, I think, the biggest message for people is do what you love.

Mark: 6:49

Thank you. Yeah, that's huge. I mean, there's it's one thing to say, it's another thing to actually do it. So I love that. You know the story that you tell about your husband like comes up with this crazy idea, and you're like, yeah, what are you talking about? Oh wait, you're serious, aren't you? But there must have been something inside of you that was sort of longing for that, something like this, to happen, right, because most people would have just shut them down and been like you're crazy and we're not having this conversation. But instead you were like okay, I'll entertain this, what do you want to do here? And here you are, two and a half years later, and I'm completely blown away because, as you know from our conversation. But I want to share a little bit about it with the listeners. If anyone has tuned in to our show later in the game, I talked about this earlier in our podcast, but I did the exact same thing.

Mark: 7:36

We, my wife and I, were on vacation in Florida and we just my sister flew down to Florida to watch the kids, because our kids were little at the time. And she's like you guys, go out to dinner and enjoy yourselves. The two of us went out, had a great dinner, a couple of glasses of wine, and then, you know, I have this like inspired idea that you know what, let's just sell everything that we have and buy an RV. And she was like all right, like let's do it. And the next morning we woke up and I was just waiting for her to be like no, I shouldn't have that second glass of wine, you're crazy, I'm not doing that. And then the first thing she said was where do we start? And I couldn't grab my laptop fast enough. I grabbed my laptop, I grabbed my phone. I'm calling the real estate agent. We need to list the house. You know, I'm looking at RVs online. And that was it. We literally never looked back after that. We sold our house, we sold everything, most of what we owned, obviously some stuff we held on to and put it to storage, storage, but most of the stuff. And you know it's crazy, it's hard. It feels like a past life to me, because now we're going back. So we're living now in North Carolina for four years, and so it was about a year before, over five years ago, and, by the way, this is before COVID.

Mark: 8:48

So this was, in my opinion, a really rare idea. You know, like everyone thought we were crazy, but actually I relied on YouTube videos and podcasts, and the reason I did that is because where else are you going to find information about other people? And I was surprised to learn that there were, there were a good amount of people that had done something similar to that, and they did it with their families and they were working on the road, and so I feel like that was every time I had a doubt could I actually do this? Is this the craziest, stupidest thing? You know? Like did we? You know, because we were getting resistance at every turn, as I'm sure you can imagine, and people are like everything from, like you know, the side comments to the flat out like you guys are irresponsible and this is a terrible idea. But it was those YouTube videos and the podcast that was like, well, these people are doing it. And pretty soon I decided to just shut everything down, like all the other noise around me, and just keep watching those videos and listening to those podcasts, because that was the fuel that kept me going and that was a super exciting time and we did that and we, you know, obviously we left from New Jersey, went all the way down to the southern point of Florida, stayed down in the keys for seven weeks, which is like ridiculous we're going to talk about that in a second and then we ended up going across all the way across the country to San Diego and then we came back, but you did it for two and a half years. We did not last that long, I will tell you, but the only, probably one of the big differences is that we had the four little kids at the time, and and it was a huge struggle, you know, because, as much as it was exciting and we loved it, you know, and we saw things that we probably would have never seen Like, if you ask me, one of the first things that pops up into my mind is white sands, new Mexico, you know, and I had never heard of it before, you know, and here we are, standing on these mountains of white sand and my kids sledding down mountains of white sands and t shirts and short.

Mark: 10:40

You know, it was just, it was incredible. There were, there were parts of the country that I didn't know existed. There were cultures in our country that I didn't know existed. There's so much variety, there's so much to learn, because I grew up, you know, in New York. And then when we got married and moved to New Jersey and you like, live in a bubble and you think you have this idea of what the world is like, and then you actually get out there, it's not wasn't even about leaving the country, it was literally just in our country alone and I was blown away at how much, you know, variety there was and culture and like beauty. I mean like I could go on and on about it, but I'll let you, I'll throw this back at you. So are there any similarities or things that in what I'm saying that you can relate to?

Patti: 11:24

Absolutely A lot of similarities. One of the differences when Dan said that and I thought he was crazy, I continued to think he was crazy. The next morning, a little, a little bit more time, but again, here we were finding ourselves in COVID. We were in.

Patti: 11:42

Las Vegas at the time. Dan, what we were doing at the time? I was working with a networking group helping people build their businesses. You know, entrepreneurs build their businesses. And Dan was working on a show in Las Vegas and he gets on a call with the the the I think it was ballies that said, hey, we're not looking to open shows for at least a year. So here we are with lots and lots of money going out and very little coming in.

Patti: 12:14

And I said you know, we're not living life fully and that's our goal, like live each day. You don't know when your end's going to be, and I know that's kind of cliche, but we really work to live that every day. And so I said, okay, what's this going to look like? How can we continue our mission? I love the idea of going out and creating YouTube videos and inspiring people, showing people what there is to do in this country, and when I thought about it, I had no idea what it was going to really look like.

Patti: 12:48

There are things in this country that we have seen and experienced that were just amazing Like that. I never thought of the springs in Crystal River, this clear water that you see on pictures that you can't really truly show in a video or explain. You've got to be there. And, yeah, the big thing is teaching people or inspiring people to really stop and enjoy it. There could be hundreds of people in that same environment. Somebody else is thinking about the next thing they have to do or worried about the kids or something else. It's really being in that moment and feeling it.

Patti: 13:31

A lot of the things we talk about is how fantastic the people we've met across the country has been. Like. That has been just incredible. And to your point, even during COVID, when a lot of people were going in RVs, people thought we were crazy. Like we have between us. We have five kids. Four of them are married with nine grandkids and I think the kids just say a whole lot. But they definitely thought we were nuts. We got a call from a friend that said listen, if you need a place to live, let me know. We thought we were homeless.

Patti: 14:10

Yeah, so it was interesting because it's like you said, as you're making this decision, we were watching YouTube. We were watching some of the stuff that happens, that is scary. We were watching some of the good stuff. So there was a you know a going out in RV and be, you know, enjoying our life, enjoying the journey and being able to continue with that message of inspiring people. So that was a big deal for me at that time.

Agris: 14:43

I heard a couple of times living like full, living life fully. So I would like to ask you, what is your recipe of living life fully Like, if you can like, in five, six words, wow, sorry, it's like a storybook.

Patti: 15:06

I don't know about the five, six words. All right, the words.

Agris: 15:09

Okay, yeah, that's better.

Patti: 15:13

Yeah, that's better. Thank you. The one thing that I have to say when, many years ago, dan and I got into spirituality and mindset call it whatever you want different names for it when I thought about living life fully and living positive, there was this pressure on me that I had to be positive all the time. So living life fully, I don't believe, means every day is roses and wonderful. I do believe that having emotion is part of living life.

Patti: 15:47

For the last six months I had been Dan and I have been staying at my brothers with my mother, who was on the hospice, and three weeks ago she passed, and so living life fully was being there with her and being in that moment and accepting the reality. But it's also the sadness that comes with it, and within that sadness, living life fully is remembering her and talking about her and smiling about something silly you think about, and that's really, for me, as being present. You can be by that same crystal river that I was talking about and be thinking about a piece of dirt that you see, or you could be in the moment, be present and see the beauty or the good that's there. So that's kind of how I see it.

Mark: 16:34

That was really well said.

Agris: 16:36

Yeah, beautiful, and that's actually what I. But what's funny, you said about spirituality some at some point when I went into spirituality and was thinking the same oh, you know, all spiritual people must be somehow positive minded. They. They don't, they don't have any negative emotions or whatever, and then you just put pressure on yourself, this kind of you know, which is like, oh no, it's actually, it's not. You know, actually I think spirituality is that you accept all parts of yourself.

Agris: 17:13

Right, you said that you go and discover country, but spirituality, spirituality lets you go and discover yourself as well, all parts of it. So, and you can go to the most beautiful parts and most ugliest parts into yourself, and that's the beauty of. I think you're doing both right now. Right, you're traveling all country, seeing the beauty and also, maybe not, the most beautiful places of the country, and in spirituality, you discover, saying within as well. So I guess, if you can a little bit say what, what is the parts you discovered? What is the most ugliest thing within for you being on the road, and that's the most of the time and most beautiful things, like, let's put this on the in the balance.

Patti: 18:06

Right and it's. You can't see the light unless you see the dark is what I say. We lived in Las Vegas. Now I was born and raised in the Philadelphia area and the weather is very different. We moved to Las Vegas. 280 something days a year the sun shines, so minimal rain. And it was raining one time and somebody was complaining and I said the rain is there to make you appreciate the sunshine and I think that just kind of explains you've got to see the dark to appreciate the light.

Mark: 18:38

Yeah, definitely. It's interesting that you said that, because I think that you have to sometimes follow your instincts, right? So whether it was your husband's original idea and you jumped in on it, but the idea is that you were both in some way inspired, right? So you conspired to be inspired and take this trip.

Mark: 18:59

What I learned and I'm wondering if you kind of went through the same thing is that everybody has this fantasy of leaving all of what doesn't work behind. You know, like the like certain relationships that you have issues with, or the environment, or the town that you live in, or your neighbor that pisses you off or whatever. So we all have this fantasy about what it would be like to leave it all behind, sell everything, get into an RV and go like, park it by, you know crystal springs and just enjoy the sunshine and drink my ties at five o'clock or whatever. You're into paint to painting, and. But I think that when you eliminate all those things, you realize that you might have. You might have eliminated this you thought was the source of, like, internal stress or discontent, but really all that comes with you wherever you go, you know, and when you show up, as beautiful as the environment might be. You might be laying on a canvas hammock between two palm trees in southern Florida, but if you're not okay with who you are, you know, then then it doesn't matter.

Mark: 20:00

And for me, the reason why I bring this up is that was actually one of the biggest learning lessons for me was realizing that just because you leave things behind doesn't mean that you also leave the parts of you that are not okay behind. You bring those things with you and actually it was a big eye opener and I know this was sort of aggressive question for you, but it made me think about my own process and what I realized was wow, there are things about me that I don't give myself a chance to look at because I'm too distracted by all the things around me that I like to complain about. But now here I am, like on this beautiful vista in Southern California, you know, overlooking the valley, and I'm still annoyed about whatever, you know, like whatever and I realized, wow, I have some stuff to look into here. It was kind of a real eye opener for me.

Patti: 20:49

Yeah, I mean, you said it perfectly. I mean, for me, that's what spiritual growth evolving has been about. For me it's been a process. So getting in the RV because we had done so much prior to that getting in the RV, yeah, you think you're going to walk away from the people, places, things that trigger you or bother you or upset you, but you carry them with and I do feel like, for us, being in the RV and we sometimes have to remember this ourselves like traveling and looking at something beautiful, helps us to then look at those things issues more clearly, because you are taking it with you and we're really busy. So sometimes you'll see a picture of us sitting on a dock, you know, at a lake or something, but we've just worked five, six hours crazy, like crazy before that it's. It's those times that you could sit on the dock and just say, okay, I'm not cleaning today and be able to look inside, and I think we have had a lot of additional growth in the last two and a half years.

Patti: 21:57

In addition to that, when we say we live in 400 square feet, people laugh because it's probably not even that big. So, as I'm sitting here at this desk, just next to me. Dan is sitting there, the bedroom and everything else is not that far away. So now you've got a couple living on top of each other and you know, on our podcast we talked about how do you survive literally without killing each other. So that was a big topic because so much has changed. And for those people to say, just sell an RV and I'll just sell the house and get an RV and go out, there are definitely things you need to think about and take into consideration. And how do we get along? Sometimes, for me, I need my me time and I go to the laundromat for two and a half hours. I don't know if I'm doing laundry, but I need that time.

Mark: 22:53

Going to the laundromat.

Patti: 22:56

Yeah, there's always a lot.

Mark: 22:58

Why is there no clean clothes? But been there every day this week.

Patti: 23:02

Right. So, and it's the way to find what we each need. I get up in the morning, I meditate a journal, dan tends to stay in bed and does his meditation. We come together and do some things together. It's also communication and allowing for that and a lot changes. When all this and you're in an RV and then, like you said, with kids, that's a lot of change.

Mark: 23:29

Yeah, and it's funny because a lot of people used to say this is a similar thing to us when we were getting ready to leave and people are like you're crazy, why would you want four kids on top of you, you know, in 500 square foot RV? And my response was always listen, we're in this huge house and they're always right on top of me. We had there's literally three floors in this house and they are always on top of me Whatever room I'm in. I'm like, so at least I'll have a better view. You know what I mean it's like. Instead of staring at all the yard work that I have to do out that window, I'll be, you know, looking at the crystal blue waters in Florida or a mountain somewhere or whatever, and so I think that's the best way to change the vista. The kids are going to be on top of me regardless, and it's the same thing with your spouse too, right, I mean, you know.

Patti: 24:17

Right, exactly, and you know it's working. And I listen and want to listen to a bunch of your podcasts, but one of them the family therapist and you know it's communicating and it's figuring it out. It's like a whole new thing for us. So now, what do we have to do different? How do we communication? People talk about that all the time. You definitely need to be able to communicate. Look, that's what I need. I need 45 minutes with my coffee before there's any words spoken. Right, like that is my. You know, definitely need this.

Mark: 24:52

So he figured it out Do you have a signal for that? Do you have a signal like a little flag, or you put your cup a certain way like, okay, I'm ready, now we can start planning the day now, he just knows.

Patti: 25:05

He's learned Like, the coffee is not finished.

Mark: 25:10

That looks like a full cup. I'll give you another 20 minutes, exactly.

Patti: 25:14

Exactly, you know you get to those nonverbal signals.

Mark: 25:20

Right.

Agris: 25:20

Make sense. I think we are coming back to that beauty of that. Everything is energy and if everything is energy and we eminent that energy and we actually, we are larger than our bodies, right? So we, if you live in such a small place, two of you, you become one, right? That's beautiful. I think it's beautiful to learn it and I probably that's one of the life learnings for you. Both of you know how to become one and you know I'm I'm resonate with this because I've been troubling a lot as well.

Agris: 26:04

I always took my wife with me and and we don't need sometimes to talk, even we, just we can sit in silence and we understand each other, you know. And and Mark asked, what is the signals? You know, like cup is full or not. You know, and we can talk with which I understand you. You know, like it's just just you feel it when you spend so much time together, you really feel other like yourself, and also it's, of course, it's good to spend a long time so you can actually feel what you feel alone, because that energy you, but it's really. It's really interesting what you, that you mentioned this, because people sometimes they don't, maybe they think, oh yeah, you just drive, you see lots of things and oh so much fun. But the energy which you all the time together, you have to really work on that acceptance. I would say that's acceptance.

Patti: 27:01

Absolutely it's. And and the other thing is to. We've grown our relationship. We've been together when we started. We have three kids in the house with us. It's a mixed family.

Patti: 27:15

So there's all kinds of certain issues that you have with that and it's also taking a step back and realizing. So one of the things that I've realized and appreciation is Dan and I have a podcast and you could see our setup and I'm usually standing right next to him and we have guests on and we do it through video and Dan and I will be sitting there. I'll say to the guests when we have them on Listen, if you see us doing this, like, just ignore that. If you know and and we don't have a script, we just wing it. We have, you know, a topic and we wing it.

Patti: 27:50

But now we could just kind of look at each other or point and we know we're talking about, we know where we want to go next, we it's that silent communication and I think that comes with growing a relationship and and then acknowledging it, because it's easy to acknowledge you said that or you did that and you know being annoyed with stuff. It's, you know, again, being out in nature and thinking about positive, like what is there that's more to be grateful for? What is there that's more to appreciate? And I think that's a huge thing for us. I mean, we could sometimes be talking about something and half a sentence and the other person knows it's done. The conversation is done because we know where you're going with it, we know we're talking about so is something great. And it's something that takes time and develops over time and I think there are sometimes miscommunications and arguments and culties in between that. But when you could look at that and learn from it, that's the big thing.

Mark: 28:55

Isn't it true that the true test of the relationship is the amount of arguing that takes place while you're parking the RB and the RB Park?

Patti: 29:03

Yes, and that's a. That's a big joke, it's a funny thing. And whenever somebody said something you know we're listening to a video and they said, excuse me, the parking and backing up is is the biggest problem, I would say, okay, I'm not putting that in my head as a problem. What could we do to solve that? So we start out. And we had, we bought a used RV that had tanks that was filled with antifreeze I guess it's called. I'm very sensitive to smell. It's smell very bad. We go to a campground. There's no dump. You have to pack the RV up and go back up to the top and dump the RV. So we were pulling out of a spot and parking every five days. So you want to talk about, yeah, this, this could be. Not only we're done with the RV, but we're getting divorced and don't talk to me again.

Patti: 30:05

So the first couple of times, yes was tough I so it was a couple of times we backed in and we are we're backing in and a person stopped and he said you know, we start talking to him, got very friendly with him and his wife and he said would you mind if I give you some advice? And about parking and I'm like anything sure, and Dan always drives your RV. I've never driven it. Dan is used to driving. He's been a stunt man. He's driven RVs and motorcycles and every kind of car you could imagine. He's crashed some of them on purpose.

Patti: 30:42

So you know he's a driver who might have tell him what to do. So there I am, on the outside of the RV trying to tell him what to do. So you could imagine the conflict. So the guy said to him, he said look, when you're in driving and she's on the outside, you're listening to her. And once we were able to do that and once I was able to learn how an RV this size swings into a spot, it did become a lot better and easier. And when we get that where it's getting frustrated and angry, it's like stop, time out, like I'm not giving a show to the neighbors right now. So that is a huge thing and I think anybody any couple that's going in an RV that could get through that and work it out and figure out how we're going to work it out is on a way better foot when they finally go out and drive in an RV.

Mark: 31:38

Well, I love that story and I feel like it could be a metaphor for life in a way, because you know just that idea of oh, I know enough to not need you to give me your input, right, so I have enough life experience that I don't need your input, right. But imagine if we did that more often, if we allowed for, when it was somebody else's opportunity to sort of put their perspective or their input into the situation, that we gave them the floor fully and we allowed ourselves to just take in what they have to say about the situation, instead of pretending like we have all the answers and we know what's going on.

Patti: 32:12

Right, not letting kind of your ego. I guess it is getting away and I think we all do that at times. It was big awareness and it is like a metaphor for life, for things in life, for sure, until last night it was funny.

Mark: 32:27

Well, not really that funny, but my wife was driving home from work and she ran over a nail on the way home. So she called me to tell me that the tire pressure is going down in the tire. So I said when you come home I'll change the tire. So we went up to the tire store to get the kit to make the repair. We parked across the street in the gas station because the air is right there and everything I've done these so many times, like plugging a nail and pulling out the nail, pulling the thing, blah, blah, blah and it's usually not an issue and I usually do it by myself. But because we've been like two ships passing in the night, I was like, why don't you come with me? We'll spend a little bit of time together while I change this tire.

Mark: 33:04

Let me tell you, everything that could have gone wrong went wrong in the changing of this tire. It was like one thing after another and it was a complete disaster and I was getting so frustrated. And anyway, it was just funny because I said does this remind you of RV life? Because, yeah, you get. You know, those are stressful situations, especially when you've been on the road for a while and you finally get to the RV park and you're hungry and you're tired and you just want to put the slides out and relax and but you have to get through this final thing and you know. So it's stressful and it's anyway. It was just funny because we kind of laughed because that's what it was like all the time.

Mark: 33:39

But yeah, I agree, and also it kind of leads me to my next question, and that's because what you've been sharing with us is actually very profound and very spiritual, and I appreciate it because it really makes me think about what's important in life, right, and what's the most important thing our relationships, right. We're all talking about our relationships with our spouses and our children and stuff like that, and to me there's nothing more spiritual than that. If you can't figure out a way to work out your relationships, then don't bother going to the highest mountain in Tibet to chant in a cave somewhere. You know it's all about. You know resolving what's okay and not okay within your, within yourself, and that plays out in the relationships with the people around us.

Mark: 34:23

So my question for you is did you feel like, like changing the environment played a role in that? Like so. So by that I mean that you're eliminating sort of all those distractions and so like. It's like putting two people in an RV, I don't care where you're traveling. It's like you're putting them in an incubator and if whatever needs to be worked out, needs to be worked out. So I'm curious how the environment itself led to the transformation in your relationship and how you talked about like cultivating a stronger relationship and a better bond and things like that.

Patti: 34:57

I think in a lot of ways. So when we talk about things like a flat tire, I think it also has to do with how do we handle it. So years ago I would have lost my mind, but I'm set crying. You know, the world's coming to an end because the tire is flat, kind of thing.

Patti: 35:14

So, together, dan and I have learned to take those things that happen and we, I want to say, handle it better. But let me give you an example. We had a car that we towed on the RV. We had no problem towing. Yet we got a Jeep and within the first trip something happened where the steering wheel locked up and we dragged the Jeep for however many, too many miles. Where all four tires on the Jeep were bald Like this is not repairable done. So you get upset, you get annoyed. Luckily there was no blame. But I think what we could take a step back and realize is this is going to cost us money. This is frustrating, but this is part of life, so it becomes.

Patti: 36:08

How do you now handle these type of situations? I think the biggest thing for Dan and I is working together and learning how to handle them, not being so reactive. We work with a life coach and she's really helped us through that. Like it's not necessarily what happens, but it's how we react to it. When we get into, I believe for me, I get into such a reactive state that I'm not looking at the situation clearly. I want to blame, I want to get angry, and you see that with couples all the time.

Patti: 36:43

So I think that being in an RV, being in close proximity, sometimes something happens. You're angry, you're frustrated at each other or a situation. You need some time apart, you need to cool off time, come back together in a different way, and those are skills and I'm saying it is if it's really easy. It's not. Those are skills we've learned, we've worked on, we've taken steps back and had to go to our coach and say this is what's happening.

Patti: 37:15

Can you help us? And just that help to get us on that next. Oh, okay, let me take a step back. This is stuff that's going on. For me, the first thing you're in a relationship, the first person that has to hear about what's going on is your spouse, the person closest to you. That's the person you're going to hit over the head because you're upset or angry or annoyed, and it's probably not even at them. So it's a lot of awareness, it's a lot of practice, it's a lot of talking to people, it's a lot of having these kinds of conversations that help keep the awareness so things just can continue to get better.

Agris: 37:58

Thank you.

Agris: 37:58

I arrived to my favorite subject, my favorite subject, at least, my realizations in life, you know and I got those downloads as well about it's not that events and circumstances are going to happen, we want it or not, it's all about how we integrate emotions into those and that's all it matters and I'm a big fan of, you know, this theory that's the free will of ours.

Agris: 38:29

The only one free will is that events, circumstances, more or less, is predestinate At least that's my perspective and the only thing, what we do, is integrating emotions in those events which happening every day, every second. And I think that's the beauty. You know, that's our free will, how we are going to approach those events. And it's beautiful learning, you know. It's like, oh, let's go, let's go drive around the country, because we are going to have so many more those events. So it's going to be good learning for us. You know, that's how I see it, right, because it's going to be more intense, it's going to be fun let's get ready or back to two box of emotions and let's, let's hit the ground, let's have fun, yeah.

Patti: 39:24

Absolutely.

Mark: 39:24

Yes, yeah, and I love that you say that, because I think that you know it's something that I remind my clients all the time. You know, in the beginning, when I start working with someone for the first time and I explain everything that you've been saying, which is basically that you know we have to work on those parts of ourselves so that we can improve our relationships with the people around us, right? Because every time we get triggered by somebody, we think it's oh, he took a shower and he dropped the towel on left it on the floor. You know he's the. That's a problem, he's the problem. You know I'm only annoyed because he doesn't know how to behave the way I need him to behave. And then, when you know, when you explore that a little bit deeper, you realize, oh no, actually that was just a trigger that reminded me that there's a part of me that's not okay. And now, hopefully, I'll have some tools that I can learn by working with a coach, like you said, to learn how to heal those parts of me so that when he does those things, they don't trigger me, they don't send me off the rails, right? So that's a that's huge and an aggressor. When you say that love that, because what I eventually get to is that you'll get to a point where you welcome the triggers. You welcome. Why do I welcome the triggers? Because it's an opportunity for you to heal a part of you that is not okay, that maybe you've been repressing or ignoring for a long time.

Mark: 40:40

And also, when you talk about going, you know selling your home, going into an RV and traveling around the country yes, of course it's beautiful and it's amazing. You're going to see places you've never seen before and you're going to meet tons of happy people, because there's all these other people in RV parks that are living the life and having great conversations and enjoying nature and spending most of their time outdoors, like all the things that are conducive to being happy, right. But I think also, you know, there's going to be things. There's going to be flat tires. There's going to be, you know, getting the RV stuck in a ditch or, you know, or financial, like most of us, I will say personally, did not realize oh, we're going to sell our house. We're going to have all this money and savings. We're not going to have a $4,000 mortgage every month. We're not going to have to pay the landscaper, we're not going to have this bill and that bill and like, there's this fantasy that, like you, just you're going to have all this money sitting around without realizing that. Oh, there's plenty of opportunities to spend money on the road.

Mark: 41:39

And so there's the financial stress too, but again, there are just more opportunities for things to go wrong. But after a while you start to realize that you're equipped with the right skills. Then it's what you do about what's going wrong that really makes all the difference. So we're not trying to get away from all of our problems, we're not trying to create a life where there are no problems. We're just learning ways to like deal with those problems. And that's all emotional. So it's huge.

Patti: 42:07

Absolutely. I mean, that is. That says it in a nutshell. You had said you know, when we sold everything and, you know, decided to go into RV, did I leave all that behind? And again we have five kids. I was having some relationship issues with one of those kids. That goes with. They don't live with us, they live somewhere else. But that goes with. And it's not that there won't be issues. It is how you handle them.

Patti: 42:35

And what part of me that the towel dropping on the floor. You know I'd learned this years ago with my first husband. It made me feel like he thinks I'm supposed to pick it up. Well, after a lot of time in therapy, he said no, I didn't expect you to pick it up, it's just where I put it.

Patti: 42:53

You know it's your, what you're thinking in your head, your story in your head, that may or may not be of reality. So now it's like, okay, you put your dirty clothes on the floor, I'm going to do laundry, I'm going to need them in the laundry basket. You know it's and again, I don't mean to simplify it, it's taken time to get here and I think it's that willingness I do feel like being out in nature. For me sometimes it's a mountain or a desert, the white sands of a beach water, whatever that is, for me I think that resets my energy, my internal. I don't have the word, but I think just being out in nature, seeing, you know, a sunset I love watching the sun sets sort of shifts the focus for me.

Agris: 43:47

Yeah, you're allowed to, just to come out your natural part of you, I think, because you see the beauty in nature, because at home we create environment around us like we want, more or less right, so we create environment where we feel comfortable into it. In nature you have to go by flow, you have to accept your beauty of the flow of nature and and that if there is a wind or whatever happens, so it's it's like. Again, it's about acceptance and loving that changes and natural changes. Because, like you know, used to live most of my life in Latvia and I most of the time I hated when started November, you know November's the same December started and I was like, oh, my gosh, this dark period of time, I guess, and Philly is the same, right, so it's like it just becomes dark, you know, dark, lots of rain and and you feel, and if you don't go with them, understanding that it's a time to think to, to go within, to maybe more meditate and to connect and have that thinking, and then you're screwed.

Agris: 45:06

You're screwed, you know, and I I moved to California. That was the big reason, those November, december, you know, I moved to California. I was like, oh, I still have those moments there. So it's not about really, it's just you have to feel, you have to connect with, with yourself and everything, just to feel when is the time to go more within and go more, you know, enjoy outside. I think it's beautiful that you have this opportunity really to blend into nature right now, more being on the road.

Patti: 45:43

Yes, I'm very much and I I believe it's a big part of what made me say yes, what drove me to agree to what seemed like a crazy idea, and I am appreciating and seeing things in nature I couldn't have imagined before we started this journey. I mean, we've done a lot of traveling, we traveled outside the country, did a three month tour around the country, speaking, and saw so much around the world actually, but to be here and take your time and see the things and the places in this country that I never could have imagined, and every time we go to an area I put something else on my list of I'd love to see this or do this. So, yeah, I think that's a big part of it, and you know what I try and get across the people is. You know, I want to inspire people to enjoy life. It doesn't mean you have to sell everything and buy an RV. Yes, sometimes it's more expensive than where you were living before. To your point, Mark, but just do something different that makes you happy when you talk about living in a house and you set it up the way you want. We stopped seeing the things that are right in front of us. We stopped noticing them. You might have put the most beautiful flower outside, but if you walk past it every day, you actually stopped seeing it. Your brain has seen it so many times it doesn't compute anymore.

Patti: 47:18

So for me, the change of nature but sometimes it's also just being in that moment and reminding myself to appreciate. And it was a big reminder for me, living in a house for six months that was, you know, this past six months was kind of crazy. We were living in a house with Dan and I and four other people, which included my mom who was ill, and you know their mindset is not the same at all, let's just put it that way. So it was a very big reminder to me. The contrast was this is not what I want. No judgment. I get to live their lives the way they want, but this is certainly not what I want. So there's that contrast which shows me we live a more positive way. The energy that we attract is what's important to us. Looking at nature, seeing what's there, seeing the beauty, so many things that it was a great reminder for me.

Mark: 48:21

So do you ever so? Two questions. One is like what's, now that you've had that right, that recent reminder of like you know where you want to be, if you get to make the choice, this is the choice that you make Do you see this being like a very long-term goal? Do you ever think you'll end up back in the house? Or like, what's the thought process with that?

Patti: 48:44

So, like with most things that we kind of do, we just wing it. We did sell our house. We had a storage unit, which we have since emptied, so everything we own is contained in this RV. So what's next is I'm going to be very honest there's part of me that has a little bit of a fear of we need something stable and what happens when we can't do this anymore. We need a plan. That's the sort of the fear-based part of me, because then there's the part of me that's saying, oh okay, we're going to the Hershey RV show in September and we're going to speak and I love that.

Patti: 49:25

That is, you know, the greatest thing. It brings me, truly brings me joy. Our podcasts, our creating videos, these things bring me joy. So I can't see stopping that. I can't see slowing that down. So there's just, in all honesty, there's a little bit of that struggle, or maybe I just need to. I've been taking step back and reflecting on what do I need? What kind of plan do we need to have? Do we need one? Because we could always just park the RV and then make our choices. So there's that to answer your question, and a lot of people ask that.

Mark: 50:02

Yeah, well, and it's a great answer, because there's an uncertainty that lies there and it kind of ties into what we were talking about before, which is even being okay with that uncertainty. You know, the truth is I don't know what it's gonna look like a year from now. I mean, that's okay, you know. Like I know, this is where I wanna be right now. I know there's this, there's something under the surface that's screaming at me saying like don't forget about the five year plan, the 10 year plan, the what if plan, you know, and stuff like that. But then there's also, well, but there's also living for today, you know, living in the moment and focusing on what's important to me. And right now this is important to me my podcast, my work, my relationship, my opportunity for freedom and exploration and seeing new things and connecting to nature. And so that's where I'm gonna be.

Mark: 50:51

And it's funny, when I went into it, I was all in, like 100%. There was no. That's why we needed to start selling stuff, because I didn't wanna have a plan B. I needed to burn the bridge if I wanted to seize the island. So it was like that's gonna be our life. We're gonna be road schoolers. We're gonna road, school, the kids, we're gonna travel, we're gonna live in the RV, we're gonna work from the RV, and I didn't even think about anything beyond that.

Mark: 51:16

And we, when we ended up, you know, moving to North Carolina, which is where we settled, that was really more, because our kids, especially the oldest one, was like okay, I'm done with this, I wanna have friends and I wanna do sports and I wanna go to school and all that kind of stuff, and so that was enough for us to be like okay, that makes sense. But yeah, I mean, when I talk to you this is the second conversation that we've had and I feel like you're getting me in trouble, because my mind is like get back in the RV. This is why you didn't sell the RV. Like, what are you doing? There's the sense of-.

Patti: 51:51

There's treps, it's not a full time.

Mark: 51:54

Good well, and we held onto the RV because that was our goal. We're like when we build a new house, let's build it smaller so we're not sleeved to this big house that we have to work insane hours to pay the mortgage on and all the upkeep that it takes to take care of a big house. And then so we did. We built a smaller house and our idea was to travel in the RV on the weekends. What I didn't take into consideration was, when the kids start doing their activities, that there's no going anywhere, because there's always something going on on the weekends. So there's the fantasy that still exists within me of just being like let's just get out and get back in the RV and explore more of the world. And that's actually always in the back of my mind, and the more time I spend with you, the louder that voice gets. And we still own our RV to this day, even though we've been in the house now for four years. But it's interesting because, as you guys, as you were telling your stories and listening to what Agar said too, I feel that resonates with me deeply.

Mark: 52:56

I know that I work from my bedroom. The corner of my bedroom is my office and I have the window right to the left of me and I used to sit in the chair and like in between calls and just kind of look out the window and think, wouldn't it be nice if I put a palm tree there? You know like, oh yeah, that would be a good idea. And then the longer you sit there, maybe I should put two palm trees, maybe I should put a waterfall, maybe I should plant this kind of a tree and that kind of a bush and these kind of flowers, and wouldn't it be cool if there was a gazebo out there? I could put a table and some chairs. Anyway, I've since put all that out there.

Mark: 53:31

And then this morning I was sitting out there, you know, underneath the gazebo and this is me being completely honest, right, because we're all human as much as we try to study all this stuff and have conversations about this I was sitting under the gazebo that's surrounded by everything that I just told you about. And what was I doing? I was looking at my phone, other places, and I was like wow, and I was getting like feeling uneasy about it and I had to stop and put the phone down because I was trying to check in with myself and figure out why am I feeling like something feels a little bit off? And the truth is because I wasn't being present, I wasn't allowing myself to take in what I already have around me, taking myself out of the present moment and putting myself somewhere else, like if I could pay attention to someplace else. Maybe that'll bring me some kind of a joy. But really I'm exactly where I want it to be, like coastal North Carolina, surrounded by palm trees. The weather's beautiful. You know, I have a great backyard. I work from home, which I love. I love my home, blah, blah, blah. But it really takes for us to stop.

Mark: 54:32

And I think when I was traveling, especially in the RV, that helped me to kind of cultivate that practice. And the reason for me was because it was like everything seems short-lived, you know, like I'm only gonna be here for a few weeks, so I really need to just stop being distracted by all that other stuff and just pay attention to what's around me. So it's sort of like I created, like I put pressure on myself to kind of live more in the moment, so that because I didn't have time. And to Agris's point too, where I think it was you that said like if you plant a flower after a while you see the flower every day you start to not see it anymore, and so, yeah, that's exactly what happens. We end up getting in this trap of making our home beautiful, making our environment beautiful, and then just getting so used to it that we don't even pay attention to it anymore.

Patti: 55:19

Right, and it's we talk about planning too, you know. So when I was young, I decided I needed to go to college, have a career, spend a certain amount of time, then I could retire and enjoy life. That was the mindset. So I literally went to college. I got my master's degree. I was two classes, three classes, away from my doctorate degree. I was a teacher for 20 years. Oh, I'm gonna have a retirement. This is great, this is the plan.

Patti: 55:46

Well then life comes in, you know, and stuff happens. And I got divorced and you know all of these things happen. So, as much as we think let's plan this right now, you're in this house and maybe in a year from now, you say, yeah, the kids are older, they're on their own. You know, whatever I know, your kids are younger. I guess my point is who knows what life is gonna look like in six months? Two years ago we were dealing with COVID Very different life.

Patti: 56:14

I think it changed a lot of people's mindset and what they were going to do and not going to do anymore, what they were gonna tolerate and not tolerate anymore. So you know, I guess I'm bringing it back to that idea of a plan and planning. Yeah, I know that next Monday we're gonna move to a campground in Hershey. That's the plan. We have speaking engagement at Hershey in September and one in January, and for me that's as far as the plan goes and just it's great to be in the moment and be able to enjoy as it comes up. And again, not having kids certainly makes that a little easier to navigate.

Mark: 56:58

So I know that we're wrapping up and I'll give Agra a chance to kind of chime in for a second too, but I just have one quick question and that's has this always been sort of your personality, someone that appreciates or thrives on variety, like because you're a teacher by trade and teachers are big planners and they like to have a structure and it's sort of, I think, the antithesis of that. Like, yeah, the biggest part of my plan is just showing up at a campground and then we'll just see what unfolds after that.

Patti: 57:29

Never that. This is not even 10 years ago If you had said you're gonna go in an RV and just wing it and plan, not plan and not have a plan for what if you don't like it and what if you? And blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. This is not at all. I was a planner. I was a typical teacher. The plan got written on Sunday. You went through the week. I knew the holidays off, I knew when I could retire, how much money I was gonna have when I retired. So this is totally not who I was, say 10 years ago.

Mark: 58:00

Wow. So that gives me a lot of hope, because I thought it was just maybe most people couldn't do what I did because they don't favor variety so much. I love a new environment all the time. But you're saying it's possible for anyone that has that type A planner teacher mentality can grow to a point where they're really like ready to just kind of put that aside and live life in the moment. That's amazing.

Patti: 58:22

Yeah, yeah, it's truly living in the moment. I've seen too many people get to near death, including Dan twice, and people who have passed and said, whoa, life is too short for this. There was a major shift and a major change, so, yes, it's for anyone.

Agris: 58:43

Like at the end, if I can add my thoughts, I think it's beautiful that you start to love uncertainty, because it's always been teach we have to love certainty, and I think it's beautiful because it's why we cannot love uncertainty. We can and it's beautiful. I catch myself many times like, oh my gosh, you know, like what's good, and I've been in those situations so many times in my life and I teach the lesson, learn the lesson that it's actually a lot of beauty in uncertainty Because we have to let it unfold many, many things. And yeah, like personally, kind of I know what's probably going to happen with my life, but I don't know how it's going to happen. I think that's beautiful and this is what I perceive from you, that I love the part that you don't really plan to to ahead and and let just let it come.

Agris: 59:46

Because I think you perceive this from nature, because you know that we don't need to change. We don't need to change nature because it's it's going to give more or less same results anyways. But why do we change, trying to change ourselves? You just let it unfold. It's going to unfold in the most beautiful way, like it does in nature, like night and day is doing their job, like many other things doing their job. So why? We humans want to be in control, in beautiful flow. So, and I think I really congratulate you and then about being in that beautiful flow of nature, enjoying your life, this inspires me and this is what you do. You inspire people. So thank you for inspiration from you. I would love to see them some point too. Yes, absolutely, I have to watch your podcast.

Patti: 1:00:47

So yes, yes, and I know we're going to have you on, both of you, so you'll definitely see him.

Mark: 1:00:54

Excellent, and so, yeah, I've really enjoyed this conversation a lot and you brought so much insight to the table, so I appreciate that. I mean, I can only imagine the amount of people that you've inspired, because you brought to this conversation a different element to it, which was not just the fantasy part of like being untethered, but also looking for opportunities to be present moment to moment, awareness, paying attention to what's around you and accepting things. So a big takeaway for me was accepting things the way that they are and we can plan a little bit, and then we have to be okay with however things end up working out, because we can only plan so much anyway. So there was just so much that you brought to the table. I appreciate it.

Mark: 1:01:39

I wish this conversation could go on longer, so I want to say that I hope that you'll come back and talk with us again, maybe after your Hershey show. Absolutely, that would be great. And so, before we go, if you could just share with us how people can find you, your YouTube and your podcast and anything else that you want to talk about.

Patti: 1:01:57

Okay, so our podcast is called RV Life Podcast, so nice and easy. Our YouTube channel is exploring through our lens and you can see all of that on our website, exploring through our lenscom and social media. I have both Instagram and Facebook for the podcast and the YouTube channel, so certainly can reach out privately. You know, I'd love to hear from people.

Mark: 1:02:30

Excellent, and we'll link all that too in the description, so that's great Perfect. Thank you so much, thank you so much.

Patti: 1:02:38

Thank you, guys. This has been incredible.

Mark: 1:02:41

Awesome. We'll see you soon. To be continued.

intro: 1:02:49

Thank you for tuning into. This is Source. We hope that this conversation has sparked something within you and that you feel inspired to continue exploring your own journey of self-discovery. Remember, you are the source of your own transformation and the possibilities for growth and expansion are infinite. If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with your friends and family, and don't forget to subscribe so you never miss an episode. Until next time, keep shining your light and living your truth.