Keri Nola: A Journey into Spiritual Growth, Burnout Recovery, and Healing our Relationship with Money

INTRO: 0:05

Welcome to. This Is Source, the podcast that invites you to explore the depths of your being and tap into your true potential. This show is all about inspiring you to discover the power within yourself to create a life of purpose, joy and fulfillment. So sit back, relax and let's dive deep into the essence of who you are.

Agris: 0:34

Welcome Keri. How are you?

Keri: 0:36

I am wonderful. Better now to be with you both, looking forward to our chat.

Mark: 0:42

Definitely Keri. oh man, this is a long time in the making. I would say Kerry and I met we tried to figure this out last time we were talking. I want to say it was maybe 12 years ago or 10 years ago, i don't know something close to that And we met through a mutual friend. And if we go back to the beginning, i remember her and I were I think you were still practicing right At that time. you were still at that first.

Mark: 1:11

yeah, and I can actually recall one of the first conversations that we had, which was about had you published your book at that point?

Keri: 1:21

I think so. I think that's why I was on that summit.

Mark: 1:24

Yeah, okay, perfect. So she had her book, i had my book and we were just talking about all that and what that means. And I was just venturing into coaching for the first time because I was a professional chef for so many years. And I remember one of the initial conversations that Kerry and I had was about spirituality. And I remember thinking I really want to branch out into spirituality because it's my passion, right, because I want to do coaching and I want to help people, but I want to have an emphasis on spirituality.

Mark: 1:54

And I think we were both in agreement at the time that we were trying to figure out how we could have that conversation with people out in public and not feel weird about it.

Mark: 2:05

And actually it took me a really long time, from the day we had that conversation to, i guess, even where I am today. And what I realized now, which I didn't know at the time, was that there was tons of trauma wrapped into that, and not only that, but conditioning, right. So it was easy for me to say the word spirituality, but I realized that spirituality means so many things to so many different people, right, and behind that meaning that people give it is some kind of an emotional charge And I think that I was afraid to say I want to talk about spirituality, but not that kind of spirituality, right? And so that's what I was sort of trying to figure out. I couldn't put words to it at the time. But you know, you grow up and you experience life and you wrestle with things and you dive into things and you work it out. So tell me where you are since that conversation in terms of having you've progressed with being comfortable with saying that, doing that, practicing that.

Keri: 3:09

Gosh, i don't even hardly remember the version of me that you're talking about. Then I feel like I'm living a completely different life, as though I could have died and come back in a whole new incarnation since that time In 2017, retired from my psychotherapy practice. But during that time, something really powerful happened that I think contributed to my capacity to admit my spiritual nature, which is just kind of hilarious to say now, because to me, spirituality is just relating to life and the reality that there's more than what we sense in the physical, and just how we relate to that experience, that truth. And I remember doing I had the courage in my practice to do a workshop on intuition, to talk about how to live intuitively with my therapy clients, and I thought it was a coming out of the closet like party for me, like admitting that I was intuitive and that I worked intuitively.

Keri: 4:16

And when I did my introduction at the workshop, i remember saying I'm coming out of the intuitive closet and they're all looking at each other and like what. And I said you guys have a look on your. What are you looking at each other and me like that for? And they said, carrie, that's why we see you, because you're not the typical therapist. We know you're intuitive, we know you know there's more than what we can see in the room And that's what we love about you.

Keri: 4:44

And it was both like really jarring. I felt naked, i was like wait what? I thought I was hiding this and they're seeing it the whole time, which also felt really beautiful that oh wow, they get me, they see me. And it gave me a level of permission to really just express and be me, whatever that means at any given moment. And I went on to begin marketing myself in that way And, when I retired from practice, began supporting other healing entrepreneurs in expressing their gifts and have been hired for my energetic and intuitive awareness and skills that often, when others don't work from that dimension, the healing can be limited. And it's just been such a gift to be able to step into that expression and to help others step into the expression. So definitely upgraded version of Carrie since we originally met.

Mark: 5:49

Yeah, definitely Agress Yeah.

Agris: 5:55

Now what came to my mind as it later lead and, I think, many people trying to look the beyond. What does it mean? freedom? And once I was just really contemplating and reading books about what is freedom And one of the things that really resonated with me was that freedom is transparency. And once you become sort of naked or transparent in front of colleagues, family, whoever, society, so you actually release those sort of secrets or whatever and you can be free, You can experience freedom. So this is what I felt from your story.

Keri: 6:46

Yeah, yeah, i really relate to that. It's so true, i feel like there's so much programming and patterns that we develop that we kind of lose sight of who we are underneath all of those costumes and roles and responsibilities. Having a background in therapy, a lot of what I'm aware of is the impact that our youngest years has on our development and our capacity to feel safe, being who we are. So is it safe to be me, like when I run up to my parents and have this bold expression or ask for something that I want or need? am I met with an open heart? Am I met with love and care and compassion? Am I seen? Am I heard? Am I validated? Am I confirmed in my being, or am I met with resistance or am I shut down?

Keri: 7:40

And then, over time, humans have a natural mechanism that wants us to belong and to be safe. So we adapt to who people around us need and want us to be, and then we lose that transparency over time and hence our freedom, as you so beautifully shared. And for me, so much of life, personally and professionally, has been liberating my expression, regardless of who I'm around, and I'm going to be me, and those who resonate with that will respond and stick around and those who don't won't. And getting more and more comfortable with that as I mature and age certainly not perfect or there yet but it's definitely a daily priority to be me and to see who wants to join me there.

Mark: 8:31

So was opening up that door in terms of your career, saying goodbye to your private practice and opening up to a new career in what you do today Was that sort of the gateway drug for other areas of your life too? Excuse me, for example, i've seen you grow right, So I've been following you and you put yourself out there. You're a public figure, so if you're going through any kind of a change or embracing a new part of you, you put it out there for the world to see, and so I kind of know the answer, but I want you to share it with our listeners, because it wasn't just oh yeah, i left one career for another. It was. There was a discovery that was made in the process which I think linked to other aspects of your life. Is that true?

Keri: 9:17

Absolutely. And I think for me, saying yes to the transition, like the closing of one door and the opening and walking through of another, helped me to unlock a lot of aspects of myself. What I realized was I was so identified with what I did in the world, like I'm a therapist and I help people, and so much of my life was oriented toward that And there's a lot of rules and regulation that guide that profession And I hid behind that conveniently for a really long time. Well, gosh, i wish I could be myself, but I have to be a blank slate for my clients. I mean, gosh, i wish I could reveal more of who I am, but boundaries, oh too bad, can't, can't say that, can't have an opinion about anything. So I think a lot of what revealed is who I was underneath that identity. Like, if I'm not a therapist, who is Carrie? Like, what do I believe? What do I think, what do I love?

Keri: 10:13

And in that transition I went from working a lot to you know now, my company.

Keri: 10:19

I work maybe 10 to 15 hours a week and so much of my life now is play, it's fun, it's creativity, it's being able to.

Keri: 10:30

I think what I really accessed was my sensuality, like enjoying the, the taste and the smell and the feel of life beyond work.

Keri: 10:41

You know, my purpose is deeply sacred to me and I know that I came here with a mission to upgrade consciousness my own and supporting others. And in order to do that, there's a way that I need to live, to keep opening my body, my heart, my life, to living as one who is expressed, because then the work goes from me telling people how to live, or me being a transmission of that being available, and then just by people seeing me or spending time with me or hearing the cadence of my voice and the relaxation of my nervous system, they get the download and can apply that however they want. So we're not connecting mind to mind, which is so limited. We're connecting heart to heart, body to body. You know, energy field to energy field and there's, like more data available there to be absorbed and activated, which is really exciting to me. You know I could talk for days, but if that talking isn't embodied and lived, the capacity for others to receive it and really get it into their cellular structure is limited in my experience.

Agris: 11:58

Yeah, very interesting. You know the thing is, before the interview you said that you are five, one profile. you know human design, sorry.

Keri: 12:10

I thought you were talking about my height for a minute, Agres, because I'm also five one tall.

Mark: 12:14

Oh okay, You know like you are perfect. I was like how?

Agris: 12:17

did. He know that You're perfectly designed, right. So in every aspect, you know, and the thing is that, as I know myself, i'm five one By design. You know. It's interesting that I, what I just perceived from me was like, okay, you always felt like you're a savior, you know, you want to save as many as possible without boundaries, right, and that's probably at some point in your life, burn it, you out, because you are. You really recognize that you can't save everyone, even you really really desire to do it. And then you're like, okay, you know. So how can I hold my frequency And not really go down that rabbit hole and just try to adjust everyone, but let them come to me and enjoy the process of saving whoever hold the hand up for you, not you, you, you, you, you, you. You come right.

Keri: 13:32

So, so attuned. Agarus, i love that you picked up on that. I think in my younger years or the less mature version of me, there was something I felt a lot of worth or value. My value or worth felt like it was wrapped up in saving everybody or helping everybody, and it did become a burden and and it takes other people's power away, not actually because they would have to give it in order for me to be able to take it, but it discounts the power that each of us have to save and actualize ourselves. So I think, if I look deeper, my real desire is for as many of us to live as sovereignly as possible And in being an example of sovereignty in as many areas of my life as possible, then, just like you said, whoever wants to can get. Remember that that's available and and get on the train with us.

Mark: 14:27

And you know, that's why I love human design, because you know it gives us that kind of insight and information and it's super helpful. But I also think that that's what he's talking about. What it specifically about you is kind of a universal thing, right. I mean, i hear it from people all the time. They're always wanting to help the people around them And you know, then they burn out sort of in the process of doing that, you know, and it leaves a lot of people. So I guess I'm kind of curious, you know, when you started to realize that you know was it? was that the catalyst for, or the, you know, the catalyst for leaving your practice and starting over? or like, at what point did you realize that?

Keri: 15:11

you were going to be able to get up off the floor, and so my body knew it first. So I started physically deteriorating, feeling incredible pain which evolved into heart palpitations, which eventually had me, you know, unable to get up off the floor for a couple of seconds from the phone, thinking really that I was on my deathbed. But the traditional medical system, which I don't rely on very heavily I have a pretty holistic and you know, yeah mindset in terms of health and wellness. But I did get things checked out in that regard and I didn't find anything. So my spiritual teachers began telling me that it was in fact a death, but not the way that I thought. It wasn't a physical death, it was a death and ego death, the death of versions of me that were no longer necessary, wanting to be there was something new ahead, but I had to accept that. So it wasn't.

Keri: 16:09

Until I accepted that and because, you see, the thing about me being a therapist was, i knew, since I was three or four years old, that I was here to help people. At first, i used to tell people I was going to be a 911 operator, as I'd watched that show rescue 911 and I was so excited to be like what's your emergency? and like come to the rescue, surprise, surprise. And. But then once I knew what a therapist was like knowing what my profession was was never a challenge for me And I thought I would be old and gray and like they'd have to wheel me out on my last day of life, you know, being a therapist. So I was like my ego wouldn't let me admit that the season had ended Right, like, and if I knew that I was burnt out, or I knew that I was carrying burdens that weren't mine to carry, or we're getting too heavy, like I would have left and I wasn't ready to admit that yet.

Keri: 17:02

So my body broke down, i admitted that it was time to leave, and then I went through like a two year recovery period and it was during that time that I really realized the impact that helping not necessarily in the way of being a therapist, but the way that I was energetically, you know, taking on more than was mine, or feeling some level of worth or value from those positions of helping that I really realized. You know that I was burnt out and tired And and it's such a contrast because I absolutely adored it and I wouldn't do it any other way and it was really a part. It's like ironic that I was helping many people, which I do think is true, but I was being saved in the process, right, all all it's. It's always a just a harm, harmonious and ebb and flow. Right, as we help, we're being helped directly or indirectly, if we're willing to accept that.

Agris: 18:04

Right, yeah, if I know I guess has something to say, and then I'm going to jump in because No, it's just my mind blowing, you know, because I just I can see exactly your life as my life. It just it's incredible, you know like it's. It's just every word you described resonated with me deeply because it exactly what happened with me. You know, like, and I can, i can, i can come back to this life one, sorry. The thing is that it's all about timing And we are like that And deep inside we know that we done already what we supposed to do in certain area of what we do, and for you it was therapy, right, and for me was being agent for talent. It was.

Agris: 19:06

It's just so interesting that you said that you felt that it's, it is time to move on. But you're conditioning And I don't even blame ego because I call, i just say it's conditioning. You know that we've been teached for many, many years that we have to choose the, that area where we work, and we work till the end of our life And we just carry on. You know we just like and I said exactly those words I'm not, i'm going to be amazing agent for talents till somebody will take me with my legs in front out to the, you know, to some somewhere. You know, when we fertilize the soil. You know, and, and, and that's and.

Agris: 19:54

It's so funny that you said exactly the same words and, and and. If you don't, if you don't accept that, your body starts to give up. And it happened to you And actually it happened to me as well, in different ways, you know, but it's just so, so interesting that you said about this and how your spirituality, like those two years of recovery because you had to revire yourself, you have to revire all your DNA structure and everything just to really rebirth, as we call Pluto the planet of transformation. You did, your did the job for you, you know, and you came in this shiny, beautiful. I can feel all your energy coming from you. It's just beautiful, you know.

Keri: 20:45

Thank you. Yeah, it reminds me just of our how interconnected we all are. Right, maybe the content of our story is different, but yet we're all on this hero's journey, the heroine's journey, like finding our way through, you know, this passage of life And humane together and the cost of not being who we are, or coming here and accomplishing, or fulfilling fulfilling feels like a more accurate word The mission that we agreed as a soul to come here for. It will cost us everything if we don't answer that call. And some of us answer it sooner than later. Some of us choose not to, but, yeah, it's beautiful to remember that we're not doing it alone. It's like, oh yeah.

Mark: 21:39

So I carry. I know this is the work that you do now. So people come to you and they're in that stage of their life where they're trying to figure out, like how to let go of what they built, what they've created and and that is tied into and entangled with their identity. So walk us through that. I know it's a long process, is not like we're going to get through a deep detail by detail, but walk us through like what is the first steps. As you're talking and telling your story. I'm thinking of so many people that I know that I try to have this conversation with and they're like, yeah, but you don't understand, mark, you know this. This is like I'm attached to this, this is attached to me. You know, like there's, there's too much. I can't, i can't, i literally can't right. What would you say to people like that? because you've lived it.

Keri: 22:29

I have, i have and I would really just meet that part of them. You know, we can't bypass our resistance or our defense mechanisms, and all of what you just said is just that it's just the part of us whose job it is to keep us safe in the world, to keep things status quo, to not rock any boats Right, And that's not the part of us that will get us to the next season or that is interested in our expansion and our evolution. But it is an important part that we can't skip over in the process of becoming who we are. So I get really cozy with that part. First, you're absolutely right, maybe you can't, i don't know, let's see Right.

Keri: 23:11

So immediately we take away the resistance, we move with the tide as opposed to against it, and I think that's where a lot of healing goes wrong is that we try to skip parts. We try to be somewhere that we're not yet We try to demonize aspects of self that feel like they're working against where we're headed. But not really. I mean, every part is in service to our becoming. They just don't always know how to do that Right. So if we understand from the outside, looking in, what these mechanisms are, we can meet them compassionately and they dissolve super quickly. You know, if you think of what any of us ever need is just to be seen and heard, you know you think of your kid going dad, dad, dad, dad, dad. You're like, yes, honey, right here got you. What do you need?

Keri: 24:00

Nothing, just wanted to say you know it's like, or I just need a drink, or and then it's like it calms down.

Keri: 24:06

So these parts are like I don't want to. That's scary. No, i can't. Money, job, kids, family this is who I am. I can't. Okay, i hear you. It's fucking scary, yeah. Can you feel that fear in your body? Where is it? Let's go there, breathe into it. Can you find any part of you that is curious about something being different? Oh, okay, what are you afraid? what happened if that part took the driver's seat? And so you kind of play with it, right, and it looks and sounds different every time? but the first thing I do is meet the resistance with compassion and validate it. That makes total sense.

Mark: 24:50

It would be, because there's a part of you that is uncomfortable with that right, and so you're just trying to. You're trying to work with that instead of like you. I loved how you did that little thing with the kids, because what that is to me is pay attention to me. It's. I might remember why I started calling out your name, but what I really care about is you pay attention to me, and I think that's what I see and what I hear you saying is there's a part of you could be even a little child part of you that's saying carry, pay attention to me.

Mark: 25:24

You're forgetting. You're forgetting that we could only be safe if we took this path. And we took this path and it was really hard and we put a lot of money and a lot of effort into it And like don't, don't be crazy, don't just throw that away right now, like you know. So that part of you, so you're almost, in a sense, going back in there and making friends with that part of you, soothing that part of you and sort of taking the journey together instead of trying to pretend like it's not there and like that whole face the fear of mentality and you know.

Keri: 25:52

Exactly. I mean a lot of people try to stuff aspects of themselves, you know, in the trunk of the car and go forward without them. but they're still in the car And eventually you know they're going to start to smell and yell and like all kinds of things. So you can either take them out and bring them in the driver's seat with you and they don't need to be having the wheel.

Keri: 26:12

I call it supervising. Supervising yourself, right, supervising aspects of you that can't see over the wheel because their perspective is limited by trauma, by patterning, by you know, life experience, but they're not in the mature, conscious present moment. But that doesn't mean that they don't get to come along for the ride. They have gifts that you will need in your next season. Most often. These terrified parts of us are so precious and they hold that sense of wonder, that capacity to dream and to remember. And if we try to avoid them, then those gifts and aspects of us won't be available when we need them right. Every part of us has a light and a shadow, and a lot of times our gifts are hidden in those dark places. So we must excavate them and bring them along for for the ride. And the other piece I just want to bring in here that is being talked about more and more, but I think it has been historically ignored, is that you can't override your nervous system. So if you're in a state of fight or flight, then every decision that you make will come from survival. What is this safe? can I survive? you're going to have a hard time taking risks and when you do, you're going to collapse afterwards. That could look like sickness, it could look like, you know, rage or anger or numbness or shutting down. It could look like dis-ease at some of the further down the road if this happens over and over. So I am in deep reverence to the nervous system, which requires that we move quite slowly and we expand the capacity. So it's like having a glass that can only hold, you know, a cup of water right and the body is that holder right of the water, of the vision, of the capacity. So then we want to turn that cup into a pint so that they can hold more tension, more risk, more desire for life. And if you skip that, it's like you know people, i see marketing all the time, like get your six figure business overnight, or like have all your dreams come true, or save your marriage in three minutes, or you know whatever. That's great And it's really seductive. And what I mean? all of us have a part that wants to do the work quickly and get what we want, like yesterday. And that's not how life works. I mean, i'm all about miracles. I'm also about some practicality and just the way that our physiology works in the you know, fourth, fifth and higher dimensions, yes, instantaneously, all those things are possible, but we are in a third dimensional reality that's incredibly dense, and so, while things can happen quickly, more than likely there is a slowness that we have to accept And it's like forever. You know, i'm not buying into, you know, any limitations And it is what it is, and everyone has their own process.

Keri: 29:19

So I really focused on nervous system work too, so that people's change is sustainable And it is. It's sacred, and I'm not setting them up for crashing or crashing and burning, which, for me, is the ethical and integrous use of our skills as coaches, guides and healers of the awakening process. I want to be responsible with my gift, not get and I don't promise results. That's the other thing about me. I'm like I have no idea what's going to happen when you work with me. That's between you and God. But if you feel that I, like, have a capacity to reflect you back to something that's a little foggy and you'd like me to walk with you in support of that, then I'm here for it, but I'm not going to take responsibility for your healing or your outcomes. I won't make any guarantees And I don't give you your money back.

Keri: 30:19

So I hope that you will be sure that we are partners in the path. I require that people take full responsibility for their healing and I will take full responsibility for showing up with my gifts and wisdom and being as transparent as I can And we'll see what happens. And it's always magical And most of the time I mean yeah, nine times out of 10. People make more money working with me and they experience more love. People love me. They experience more love, peace, joy, expansion, truth. But that's like a natural side effect of coming clean with ourselves and doing the work. I answered way more than your question, mark. You get me going.

Mark: 31:03

It was. it was so good. In my mind I was going this is good, this is really good. Okay, i need to send this to this person. I need to send this message to that person.

Keri: 31:11

I can't wait to meet everybody.

Mark: 31:14

I could see Agres's eyebrows are going up, so I'll let him try.

Agris: 31:19

Yeah, yeah, yeah. like you know, like I usually I threw the. Through your message I get my visions of everything, how everything works, and I like to put in examples and for me this is an example of that we usually laugh at the sport that you cannot skip leg days. You know, because, like I think, all the education system is concentrated, starting on the head, and somehow it should be opposite, literally. You have to put the base, you have to start with the legs, and I think awareness is for legs. You have to know how to walk, you have to know how to feel the ground. So it's our legs. You cannot skip the legs, otherwise you will be pumped up. Long, long time ago I did modeling in Milan and that's how I started in this talent business And we had this fun. Sometimes we've seen male model. He's like, oh you know, like so well-built, and then we go through the show or whatever with Milan And in the backstage we have to change the clothes And we're like, oh wait, he skipped legs. Legs there, his legs are really tiny.

Agris: 32:53

His top is really good built, but he has tiny legs. What's happening? He looks good, but then there is no legs. We had those young age jokes And it's fun, and I see that this is exactly what you are talking about. People just skipped legs for many, many years And then they become sick, so they have to somehow get know how to walk, how to run, and most of people they just want to run without not knowing even how to stand on their legs. So it's actually not the easy process.

Keri: 33:36

So I love this so much, and one of the things that I also work with deeply in my work is the relationship between masculine and feminine energy and the gifts of both, and how we unify those. And when you're speaking, what's occurring to me is that, collectively, we're coming back in relationship with the feminine. There's been an overarching reliance on masculine and a belief in many ways that it's superior to the feminine, that the achieving, the doing, the moving forward is superior to the being, the knowing, the receiving, the slowing down And what you just reminded me of is the legs is our relationship with the mother. It's the earth, right The head is the relationship with the father. That would be closer to the sun, the heavens, and we really need the marriage of both of those. But our original relationship is with the mother. We grow within her, within the womb, and then when we come out, we have to stay in right relationship with the earth and the sky being here, being there, being both a human, but in relationship to everything that is, was and ever will be.

Keri: 34:52

So I just love that you highlighted that, and I know that you said it in a different way, but that's what woke up for me of like, yeah, we've got to keep our feet on the earth. We have to start there. We have to build from the ground up, and I think people have kind of gotten so entitled and like, oh, i can skip this And I can just become rich overnight, or healthy overnight, or this overnight, and it's like no, this is a process, just like the seasons. You don't just wish for winter And like, there it is, it's like no, you have to wait, winter will come. But there are cycles and seasons that we move through And we're cyclical in nature too, and it goes so much better when we honor the season that we're in.

Agris: 35:39

But they say I will have money and I will fly to winter. I think that's what's changed in this new age society is that people actually are able to manifest. It's kind of manifest things so much faster and adapt their universe as they want much faster because there are so much more technology, so much better everything, so people actually have the access to that things. But still again, that's the world outside, without working side. So whatever will appear for them outside without really looking inside, connecting with that earth, and it will never be satisfying for people.

Keri: 36:40

Exactly Like. That's what's more interesting to me, not what did you manifest, but how do you feel, What is the quality of your life? A lot of people want to make certain amounts of money. When they come to me, My program is called The Abundance Activator, But it's funny because they think it's just about money. But for me, abundance is our relationship with receiving what is for us, And so, yes, that will be certain amounts of financial resource, but that will also be love and joy and pleasure and grace and excitement a variety of things. So, yeah, people make a lot of money And I'm like that's fantastic, But do you enjoy your life? Are you happy? Do you have relationship with yourself and with other? Do you wake up every morning and look forward to? I know a lot of people with a lot of money and I wouldn't want their life at all. I mean, yeah, they have access to resources, but that money doesn't buy fulfillment, It buys stuff And it's like no matter how much stuff you put in that hole, it's not enough to fill it up.

Mark: 37:45

In my experience, So, with that in mind, where do we start? I mean because everybody thinks that if they had a lover, their life would be perfect, if they had a big fat bank account, their life would be perfect. So many of us have gone after those things, have gotten them and then realized, wait, this isn't what I thought I wanted. So do you coach them or encourage them or support them to go after those things when that's what they think that they want, or do you say, ok, that's fine, but just a disclaimer. 95% of people who go after that end up coming back for something they didn't realize that they ultimately wanted, which is usually some type of fulfillment or spiritual realization or something along those lines. So you personally. So I come to you and I'm like hey, kerry, i heard you're awesome And my friend told me about you and I need to call you And I'm sick of being broke And you're the money chick now. So I have to ask you what do I do? Where do we start?

Keri: 38:53

Yeah, so what do you think that money is going to get you when it's in your account? What's going to be different than what's happening right now?

Mark: 39:01

Right And I would say to that freedom.

Keri: 39:08

For what? What is freedom by you? What do you have access to?

Mark: 39:12

Yeah, freedom to travel and freedom to not have to say no to the things that I want to say yes to.

Keri: 39:19

Beautiful. So maybe the money will get you that and maybe it won't. You can experience freedom in any given moment. How are you practicing that now?

Mark: 39:37

That's a good question. How am I practicing, experiencing that freedom? That's the question. Yeah, not very well.

Keri: 39:49

So here's the thing I'm happy to help you move toward more resources because, yes, they could buy you the opportunity to travel. But what I find is that when people have the resources, if they don't have the skills cultivated to give themselves permission to use it, they'll either lose it very quickly, won't ever be able to get it, or will continue to think they need more and more and more, because it's not actually the money that they need, It's the skill to give themselves permission to live the life they want to live. Now the sweet spot is when that skill is cultivated and you have the resources. Now we're playing with fire, now we've got magic. So I don't want to deprive you of the resources, but I also don't want to give you the false impression that when you have it, something will change, because that's only a piece of the puzzle.

Keri: 40:41

There also is this inner experience of what kind of permission would you have to give yourself to use that resource? Because there's a reason why you don't have the money yet And it's not because you need to market better or whatever. It's because your vibration isn't aligned with having that. You might not think you're worthy of it. You might not trust yourself to be the steward of that amount of wealth. There's a lot of different factors that play into that, so I was skipping leg day, basically.

Keri: 41:17

Agris called it.

Mark: 41:19

I was skipping leg day, You know it's first of all, we didn't plan that. That was great, That was really really good, because I was thinking about my own life and how I built the catering business. For you know, I had a catering business in New York for 17 years, as you knew, And when I was in the process of building it, I just kept telling myself, if I get bigger clients, if I get bigger accounts, if I get more clients, if I get more accounts, then I'm going to be happier. And the numbers just kept going up and up. But my happiness was going down and down. You know like it was, and so that's why I'm filtering what you just said through that experience. And it was like, yeah, I actually had everything that I wanted before.

Mark: 42:05

And to me it's like going into the labyrinth. You know, when you go into the labyrinth you're confused, you're overwhelmed, you're stressed out, And then, when you finally find a way to escape the labyrinth, you feel relief. But the question is like, did you really need to go through the labyrinth to feel that relief? And you feel that same relief before you walked into the labyrinth. So what I hear you saying is skipping leg day is not practicing, not working out, not cultivating that faculty of living in present moment, being aware of the fact that I actually already do live in freedom. I do live in freedom And I need to just pay attention to that And, like money, I'm lumping money into that. But money isn't necessarily like just freedom, Like we can experience freedom in so many different avenues of our life, right.

Keri: 42:57

And money doesn't want to be responsible for your happiness. It would be like trying to make your partner responsible for your happiness. It can contribute, but you can't outsource your joy, your freedom, your happiness. It makes money. It repels money. You know, when I talk to people, i invite them to imagine money as their lover, as their partner, externalize it. And imagine if you treated your lover this way.

Keri: 43:24

How conscious are you in your relationship with money? One of the things I have is a money date journal. I call it, and it's what helped me awaken in my relationship with money and my resources. And every day for two years I wrote to money and money communicated back to me And it may seem sort of silly because it's like, well, it's not a person and no, but it's an energy and you're always communicating with it or not. So how do you imagine your relationship with your partner would be going if you never have a date, if you never talked to one another, if you never ask each other what you need or what you want or how this is going or how that felt right. You wouldn't expect it to be going well, but yet you want money to show up in like joy and service to you? And when's the last time you said thank you for the roof that I have over my head, thank you for the fact that I'm not starving to death?

Keri: 44:22

You know, it's fascinating because when I talk to people, they come to me and they're so urgent for more. There's like this desperation. But I ask how much is in your bank account? It's never like nothing. You know, like most of the time I'm working with people who aren't really in poverty. Right, it's like first world problems. It's like they want more, but they have a home that's steady and safe, they have money to eat and feed the kids, you know.

Keri: 44:50

So there's an illusion that, and all of us are afraid, like, look, i have more money in my bank account now than I've ever had And I'm still scared. I'm still like, oh my God, if something happens, i could be under the bridge eating cat food in a year or two. You know, if this all goes to shit, it's just human nature. You know we, it's a primal fear like am I going to be able to survive? So part of it also is just being truthful. How dire are these circumstances? And can I find gratitude? You know, if you talk to people that don't have much.

Keri: 45:25

There's some of the most grateful beings like I've ever met. I mean when I've given money to homeless people or done they are so grateful for the sleeping bag or the pair of shoes or the sandwich And we lose touch with that. Constantly, in search for more, we forget what we have right now And it is, i don't believe in, like a superficial gratitude practice of, like you know, pretending you're grateful when you're not. But I think if you really slow down, we can be find things to be really grateful for, and that does create an opening for more to be grateful for. One of my favorite books is called The Having, and it's a Chinese money guru who walks her apprentice through the journey of how you relate with having more, and it starts with celebrating what you have already.

Mark: 46:24

My mind is like exploding agriske head.

Agris: 46:28

I have lots of questions, you know, but not only questions. but I want to share my realization. but it was exactly about this, you know, and my realization was like events, circumstances, they are predestined already because the world, the universe, is made beautiful, mathematical and numbers. everything is actually, is going to happen anyways. So and that, actually, that first thing, gives freedom because you're oh, i don't need to worry anymore about events and circumstances, because there will come anyways And it's not like you will sit and it's not going to appear. It will appear.

Agris: 47:11

But the most important part is how you apply your emotions to matter, and matter in this aspect is events or circumstance, and how you apply. That's actually all we have to do. you know how we apply your emotion to do whatever it happens. And if we can master that thing, if we can understand and be aware, as you said, that there are in society that shadow consciousness to be worried about survival, that's that consciousness of everyone, most or less, and we are tapped into that shadow If we are not aware, we live that through us. If we are aware of it, then you can raise your frequency in gratitude, in love, and start to actually appreciate what is already in front of you And even event what is in front of you to take a good decision, how to apply your emotion to that event. Because if you are not conscious enough, you will apply whatever it comes. and whatever it comes, usually the shadow figure comes and apply itself And you already are Absolutely.

Keri: 48:37

Yeah, and the thing I want to say about this is people sometimes mistake what you just said for trying to avoid negative or low vibration feelings, which also isn't the answer, right. But what you said was really important because you said bring awareness to it. So when a part of us is scared or in survival, it's not that we, if we don't stop feeling that we're going to attract it, it's if we don't supervise it, if we don't maintain awareness of it, if we let it be in the driver's seat, which is different than not feeling it or ignoring it. So I always like to just make that caveat, because people like to use it to avoid leg day. They're like, no, I don't want to feel that.

Keri: 49:20

Right, Mark and Carrie said you know, we have to stay in high vibration. It's impossible to stay in high vibration all the time. I mean, we're on, we're in a third dimensional reality Where we're experiencing duality, polarized, you know, experience. But the more we can remain aware and connected to truth And I call it truth with a capital T, because truth with a capital T is, is the ultimate. You know, information, the truth, That's our guiding principle. And then the lowercase truth is like the truth of the little part of us that maybe didn't have enough when we were younger or there was a deficit of something. So that's true to that part, but it's not the truth, And so, as grownups, we need to live from the truth and and really have a practice that puts us in relationship to that, such as prayer, meditation, movement, breathwork, how, whatever we're drawn to.

Agris: 50:19

Whatever works right. It's just everyone and there's so many things to choose from And I know that sometimes it creates for people confusion and because they want to apply everything at once like in famous Oscar nominated and actually given Oscar movie right, everything here at once And it's just. Then it becomes mess. Don't, don't just find one thing at least what works for you. You know, like I, there is a beautiful contemplation about trees. Now, every time you see a tree, you just bread in, you stop, pause and bread in, and there's many trees to pause on And just to feel yourself and feel that awareness, whatever is here. That at least that's really helpful for me because I love trees, i love to talk to the trees.

Agris: 51:23

And where does money grow on Just kidding On the trees And I was like, and actually when I was a child, my father used to say don't you think that money grows on the trees? And I was like, let's leave us contemplating about. This is like actually does, because there is a paper comes from the trees. You know, right, money grows on the trees, so it's right. Yes, father, it is.

Keri: 51:51

I say the same thing, agris, in my teachings I say this it's. you know, there's so many things we've fallen for that simply aren't true and they maintain they keep the scarcity consciousness in motion. So when we break those apart and we say something doesn't feel quite true, or right there, and we go to the big T truth, we don't just keep repeating the things that other generations have bought into, but we say the true thing. then it opens our world to greater possibility. There's one more thing that I wanted to say a little while back and it feels relevant is that we are most fulfilled when we have what is ours to have. Now the journey is discovering what that actually is.

Keri: 52:40

You know, i don't know, i don't believe that everyone is meant to be a millionaire in this lifetime. That's not perhaps what all of our souls chose. Now, could you hustle and maybe use enough force and will to generate more? Yeah, but you're probably not going to be satisfied and you're going to feel tricked. It's like you think you're running a 5k, but then that 5k turns into, you know, a half marathon, and then a marathon, and then a triathlon, and then you're like, oh God, like I.

Keri: 53:08

so it's a trick, the finish line keeps moving, but my work really gets us into relationship with what is yours to have. Who are you meant to be? What are you meant to have? And that's the sweet spot. Joy lives in allowing yourself to receive and hold and have and experience what your soul came here to be, do and have. And as we mature, i think we stop grabbing onto the shiny objects and stop trying to trick and seduce ourselves or fall for different shenanigans out there And we just accept what is ours and we let ourselves have it, and then life becomes really rich and beautiful And it'd be applied to emotion, for example.

Agris: 53:58

I realized that again just laterally, that I used to hang on and not take decision for certain things emotionally because I was afraid to hurt someone's feelings, because there's like, oh, if I will do this, it will, they will be sad or they will be whatever, you know. And and I was like, no, i cannot do it to them, and meanwhile not taking care of myself, you know, like holding my emotional decision because of other emotions out there. So, and that's, I think it's what you just said right, you just have to actually come back to yourself and really see what is your emotions not all of emotions around, but what you emotionally need to take care of yourself and how those emotions resonate with you.

Keri: 55:01

Absolutely. Yeah, I mean, that's the law of sovereignty. It's like really being so connected to you And since we're all interconnected, when you're in your truth, then you can also feel the truth of what the relationship needs. I just worked on this with somebody yesterday. I'm like it's not. She was feeling selfish and I said, well, there's you and there's them, but then there's also the relationship, And if you're aware of of you and you let them be aware of them, then you can both kind of feel into that third door. You know it's like it's not always pleasant to you know, get up in the middle of the night with your kid, but they're your kid and you have responsibility, And so you do inconvenient things in the name of relationship occasionally, because there's a, there's an energy of service. Right, You've chosen to do that, But that's different than selling yourself out or not being in touch with your own emotions. Gosh, we could have a whole series, guys.

Mark: 56:01

This is like I feel like we're just getting started.

Mark: 56:04

I already know this is going to be one of the top downloaded episodes. Oh, as you're talking about this, and oh man, it's just, it's incredible. This is. I know we're wrapping up. I always like to talk about the takeaway, so I'm going to tell you what my takeaway was. There were many, and I'll obviously have to download it and listen to it myself and make my notes and stuff like that. That's my process.

Mark: 56:30

But for me it was dating. You said money doesn't want to be responsible for your happiness, and then comparing the relationship with money to the relationship with maybe a person. And I've never, ever, ever considered it, I've never thought about it that way, and so and it makes total sense, like I understand how I've disregarded not even just money, but just certain things in my life because I haven't prioritized a relationship with it. But I see where, when I do, how it's worked out in my favor every single time, and I pride myself on my relationship with my wife, but it's my top priority. So, moment by moment, i'm paying attention to making sure that things feel right and constantly monitoring and adjusting my choices, the energy that I put into it, how I'm responding to what's going on, what I'm investing into the relationship And so I'm always keeping it in balance, right. And speaking about being in balance, when Agris was talking about the leg date thing and having the scrawny legs and the upper body, and I could see how that's the perfect metaphor for being in balance versus not being in balance, because if you're top heavy, you're out of balance, right. So we do have to pay attention. So I've realized the takeaway for me is to look at the areas or the aspects of your life that are currently not working out And don't just try to shoot out of a cannon and grab that thing that you want so badly, but realize that it's a relationship and every relationship takes time, right, and you're going to have to put in something into that relationship in order to get something like, in order to receive something from that.

Mark: 58:24

And the last thing I want to say is I was imagining imagine if you treated your spouse or your lover the way you treated money And how pathetic and desperate you would seem if you were on that first date. I like you, but I'm really afraid. I'm really afraid you're just going to get up and you're going to walk out the door. It's really great that you're here right now. We're going to have a good time, but please don't leave, please, please, please. Don't leave, like you would be. That would be probably the quickest way to be repelled by that energy or by that person. And that's what many people do with money It's here, we enjoy it and then we spend it and we're like shit, and then we're desperately trying to get more of that. But think about what that would look like if it was a person that we were having that relationship with or if we were acting like that towards a person. So I'm going on a date with money this weekend. It's live.

Keri: 59:17

Yeah, it's going to be hot. It's going to be hot. Put your cologne on Like some candles, mark, yes, some flowers. I'm excited. Cook it a little mirror. I can't wait.

Mark: 59:29

Well, actually, you know what? It's funny? because there's a lot of money coaches, you know. I think it's a big thing right now And I've seen the element of the flashiness with the money, you know, and I realized that it's a trigger for a lot of people Like how dare you throw those bills around and say you love money and all that stuff like that. But it makes me realize that that's the point they're trying to get across is that if you can't heal that part of you that thinks it's not okay to have a relationship with money, then you cannot progress past that step. Like that is step one, and that's why it's almost like every healer is an activator. So sometimes the healing process is just activating. What pisses somebody off, you know, when you bring it to their attention. So it makes sense that that would be like an important part of it, right?

Keri: 1:00:16

Absolutely. I wrote an email once to my community years ago and I referenced this story often, but I'd love for your listeners to hear it too And the subject line was I do it for the money? because healers always say I don't do it for the money, i'm like, well, that's why you don't have any. You might start, you know, not only for the money, i mean. Of course there's other reasons, but why do you feel guilty or ashamed for doing it for the money? If you talk to a lawyer or an accountant or a teacher, they're not going to. You know, other professions don't say I don't do it for the money. You know it's like it's okay that you make a living in service to humanity, like you are being divinely compensated for this, and the more that you have, the more that you're able to give from an overflowing, healthy nervous system. So it really doesn't help anybody if you're broke. You know the more that you have, the more generous you're able to be.

Mark: 1:01:15

And.

Keri: 1:01:16

I would love there to be lots of generosity and lots of wealth in the hands of the conscious, because that's how we're going to change the planet. So if we don't get going on this and invite conscious, awake people to start generating wealth, our society is probably not going to make it to the next level here, because we got money in the hands of people that aren't using it with integrity or the way that we might see could be more loving and supportive to the evolution of humanity.

Agris: 1:01:53

So much wisdom, Kerry, you know. Before we turn off this episode, can you tell where to find you, how people can reach out to you?

Keri: 1:02:09

Absolutely So. My website is karynolacom. That's my primary website where you can read about me and my offerings. My most active program right now is my membership site called the Abundance Activator, and that's the abundanceactivatorcom. And if you'd like to just play on the daily, I'm on Instagram, kary underscore Nola. Yeah, would love to meet your community and hear how this episode resonated with everybody. I know everyone hears it from a different perspective and from a different moment in their life and what touches them. So thank you for having me.

Agris: 1:02:54

You know, just to be around you, it's the feeling of that beautiful energy and abundance. So it's people have to connect with you and experience that. Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom and being fully, energetically here with us.

Keri: 1:03:15

You're so welcome. Thanks for feeling me and knowing that It's refreshing.

Mark: 1:03:22

Great, all right To be continued. I'm bringing you back, whether you like it or not.

Keri: 1:03:27

I'm here for it.

Mark: 1:03:28

Okay, awesome. Thanks, kerry, yes.

INTRO: 1:03:36

Thank you for tuning into. This is Source. We hope that this conversation has sparked something within you and that you feel inspired to continue exploring your own journey of self-discovery. Remember, you are the source of your own transformation and the possibilities for growth and expansion are infinite. If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with your friends and family, and don't forget to subscribe so you never miss an episode. Until next time, keep shining your light and living your truth.